The great Ernest Hemingway is said to have drafted the following six-word story:
“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
Wow, six little words so utterly rich with meaning and texture!
Inspired by Hemingway, I humbly offer the following six-word blog – the first in a series:
“Be happy: Let go; no expectation.”
Last weekend, I sauntered off to run a few errands in the neighborhood. I was feeling pretty good about myself – dare I say – sexy in my own skin! As this feeling is a relatively rare occurrence, I relished and luxuriated in it! I felt so good and confident that I decided to leave home – gasp – sans makeup and hair tousled. How utterly liberating and powerful!
I am walking about, head held high, bust out, huge smile on my face greeting everyone with a hearty hello, the Light inside of me shining more brightly than the July afternoon sun. “Thank you, Lord, for this Moment,” I whispered within. I come across a gentlemen – perhaps mid-thirties (about ten years my junior) – he smiles. I think he is flirting and then I hear him say: “Hi Mommie!” Ooo- kaaay… did I hear him correctly? Yes, I did. While the smile on my face remained in tact, my heart sank- a tangible sign for me to stop and do some inner reflection.
Was I going to allow some one, some thing outside of me steal my Joy and determine my self-view? A definite and defiant NO came over me. Been there and done that for half my life – no more!! I have integrated deep into my being that Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, it is wholly subjective – no right or wrong, just different perspectives and lenses through which we see our world. This is why I so loved and appreciated the movie 2001 move Shallow Hal – a perfect depiction of perspective vis-à-vis beauty.
My first major crush, at age 17, was with a college sophomore I met when he visited my high school to talk about the university he attended. It was crush at first sight and – while the feminist in me is loathe to admit – may have influenced where I ultimately attended college. My feelings only intensified in college – every time I saw him, my heart literally stopped. Friends began to take notice. One unsympathetic friend gave it to me straight with not a hint of a chaser: “Uh, what do you see in him? I don’t get it! He is tall and lanky with big ears and a funny egg-shaped head. Really G, you can do sooooo much better?” What???!! I was utterly stunned (and may have stopped talking with her for a day or two). Why could she not see what I saw in this man – tall, sexy, handsome, smart, leader of men. My first real lesson that beauty,indeed, is in the eye of the beholder.
Back to the present moment – over twenty years later: So, no, I will not allow anyone to define me. I felt sexy and this man (as I perceived it) saw someone akin to his mother – a-sexual. “It’s okay; it’s all good,” I whispered to my bruised inner child/ego. “We were just presented with yet another opportunity to practice one of don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements: take nothing personally.” I held my head higher, smiled ever more broadly and added even more swagger to my step. I am what I say I am: I feel sexy! You go, Girl! Be yoU!
According to the dictionary independence (no dependence) is synonymous with self-government, self-rule, separation, self-determination, autonomy, freedom, and liberty.
We celebrate independence.
Yet, there is a popular old saying that no one is an island, meaning we are human and, thus, by very definition and design, social beings who are dependent on each other.
There are songs that emphatically assert that “…people who need people are the luckiest people in the world” and “it’s a small world after all.”
As both an introvert and the eldest daughter of a very strong woman, I often struggle with these assertions of interdependence. Which should I strive to be – independent or interdependent? Can one be effectively independent and interdependent?
My mother – with only the best intentions in mind – raised her three daughters to be just as strong as she is, which meant staunchly independent. “Let yourself never ever be put down by relying on a man,” my impressionable sisters and I were taught in both word and actions from very early on. Interdependence was never discussed; not sure mom even knew such a word existed! A woman was either independent or weak – period, no middle ground. This information I absorbed and, while it has served me well in many respects, as I mature I can clearly see the damage it has wrought in personal relationships.
For introverts, much as we love good company in relatively small doses, relating can be overwhelmingly taxing physically, emotionally, and intellectually. As such, an introvert requires separation from others to re-fuel. We can literally wither away without enough space and independence. Yet, too much of this “good” thing independence can leave the introvert vulnerable to depression and profound feelings of isolation.
I am seeing now the ego, limits and dangers of independence/self-determination and the reality, vulnerability and expansiveness of interdependence. I am learning that very little in life is black and white. As I gray, so does life!
Today, Tuesday 1 July, marks 2014’s halfway point – a milestone, a time to slow down a bit and reflect: where and who have I been these past six month and where am I intentionally and consciously going in the next six months. So, here goes…
The first half of the year was all about others – my family and my work. Two big events defined the first six month of 2014: my sister’s wedding and a fundraising gala for work. It was quite a juggling act as both demanded so very much of me and, in turn, I was driven to give so much of myself – as is my wont, I tend to delve in with heart, mind, body and Soul. Both events were (by God’s Grace) smashing successes. Yay! The price to me (a confirmed – and proud – introvert): I enter the second half of 2014, utterly exhausted in heart, mind, body and Soul.
Thus, the second half of the year will be – really, it has to be – predominantly about Me! In the midst of the busyness that 2014: chapter one presented, I quietly celebrated the (seemingly sudden) coming of age 45! I have reached the midpoint of my life! Whoa! Where am I going? Who do I wish to be? My words of guidance for 2014 are receptivity and decisiveness. I decisively declare 2014 to be The Year of receiving Boundless Miracles. This requires presence, my full attention to what is transpiring internally and the resultant external cues. I need to be in the here now. The second half of the year is less about others and more about me, so that I can then present/offer my very best Me to the World. That is the intention and the goal. So, it is written, so it will be done.
burgeoninc 