Memories,
cannot access many –
blurry,
scary,
unwelcomed
they are.
Better to keep locked deep –
for now.
The time may come
to visit certain memories,
one by one,
soft and slow,
well resourced,
strongly grounded,
begin to see
the memories differently,
to heal the broken Heart,
melt the frozen bits,
integrate it all,
emanate a clearer frequency.
six years ago,
a dress rehearsal.
Fierce Grace,
it was,
though we did not believe so.
asked to slow down,
to be Still,
to go in,
we choose
to move fast,
to look out,
to go back
no matter the costs.
when will we learn?
what will it take
to grow up,
to repent,
to repair
all that has been lost?
a clock ticks,
a cliff awaits,
Earth, regenerates.
where there is fear,
there can be no Love.
where there is fear,
there can be no joy.
where there is fear,
there can be no Altruism.
where there is fear,
there can be no
accountability.
where there is fear,
there is no reason –
only vast illusion.
where there is fear,
there is no freedom,
only manipulation.
where there is fear,
there is no authority –
one’s agency rendered
a mere commodity.
where there is fear,
there is no clear vision –
that we are One –
interconnected –
can be preached
but not seen or embodied.
where there is fear,
there lives hate –
disdain of “the other”
and, therefore, the self.
where there is fear,
there can be no satisfaction,
only constriction
no sense of self-actualization –
“life” becomes about survival
at any cost, collaboration
rarely genuinely sought.
where there is fear,
there is Wall,
a massive edifice,
around mind, body, and
Soul –
voluntary imprisonment
in the name of security,
nationalism,
and tribe preservation.
where there is fear,
subjugation and humiliation
do not hide
and distorted masculinity
thrives.
where there is fear,
there is also opportunity
to perceive differently,
to soften,
to widen,
to cultivate a faith
that surpasses
human understanding.
The Heart ❤️ once wildly lost
can again be found 🙏
unraveled,
she became completely
undone.
the difference this time:
she allowed herself to be
compassionately
witnessed,
and that
made all
the difference. 🙏
not enough
then
suddenly
too much!
something missing
what?
a yearning
for sweetness,
release
from discipline,
a tipping point
of sorts,
can no longer run
or hide
sadness
disappointment
fear?
of what?
barely space
between internal stimulus
and its well-trodden response.
a mere taste
then
suddenly
the deluuge,
surrendering to the waterfall.
a deep
familiar
insatiable
hunger
for sweetness
presence
purpose
excitement
reasons
any
to be
here
now.
could not get warm,
could not sleep.
body stiff,
clinging to itself.
mind, racing;
heart, broken. 💔
parricide –
in what state of mind
is such a thing possible?
over and over and over
to rip into the flesh
that bore you,
to hear their cries,
screams,
pleas,
to feel their warm blood,
to witness
Life
leave the forms
from which you came.
chilling.
what we are capable of,
we, humans,
chilling.
the fragility of our psyche,
stunning.
we all walk on delicate ice
internally.
what is considered reality
can –
does –
suddenly
crack!
we fall in
deep,
become frozen.
and there
commit acts
so devastating
they ripple
far and wide. 😢
blocked 🚫
mere months
after The Transition
of he who was The Force
keeping family afloat,
tethered,
ever so delicately.
without him,
shedding,
the masks came off,
niceties abandoned.
“Love” disintegrated
to the point of blocking 🚫
take nothing personally.
still, sad,
feels abrasive,
like a middle finger 🖕
borne of deep hurt
a sense of disrespect,
expectations unmet.
The Circle 🔵 dwindling
by death
and, now, blocks 🚫
everything
so tender,
tenuous,
ephemeral.
I forgot about you,
kidnapped
“living” underground
for years
amid “strangers” –
fellow humans
traumatized
traumatizing
using you
as mere means to a bitter end
playing a destructive game
of cat & mouse
in an endless cycle of
tit for tat.
I forgot about you
focused on the thousands
above ground
having their ground
children
lives
shattered to pieces
relentlessly
by the traumatized
traumatizing.
I could see them.
I couldn’t see you.
Out of sight,
Out of Heart,
I learned
about self –
humbled,
horrified,
human.
can there be
True Peace
where there is
no re-pair
after harms
and ruptures,
no amends made,
no truths expressed
nor apologies extended
for sustained reconciliation?
this feels like
seeds being sowed
that may
ultimately reap
more violence
more trauma
more broken 💔 ness
more hatred and
sense-less destruction.
can there ever be
True Peace
where The Feminine voice
is left out,
where Love has been
forgotten
and diplomacy severely
abandoned,
where toxic masculinity
reigns
and unbridled arrogance
pats itself on the back?
how to cultivate
True Peace
in the midst of blatant
inequality,
where tenderness
and care
are nowhere
and domination
is centered?
do we even know what
True Peace
is
any longer?
have we ever?
what is the Sacred Work
I am to do
being
fully
here
now –
tired
grief-strickened
stunned
a tad numbed?
what can I offer
from “my” heArt
to “yours”?
the breath?
mere air?
yes, deep breathing
inhaling,
smelling
like the way of a baby,
taking It all
in and down
to the belly
to the Fire 🔥
hold It there
gently witness
trans-formation.
At the appointed time,
exhale
re-lease
birth
slowly
intentionally
Freshness
something new
something
needed
urgently
now!
This is what
I am
to do.
burgeoninc 