poetry

fifty-seven

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57 turns around The Sun,

over 700 hundred moons –

grateful, pensive

this year,

less celebratory.

Surprised 

– as always –

by the outpouring

of Love,

sweet remembering

amidst so much suffering.

Sitting in a Liminal Space,

I am

here

now,

at a Threshold,

change

yet again!

A new chapter,

a different field,

a call to Be

more of Me –

The Original Face

before all the conditioning.

A pull to follow

my unique BluePrint,

to keep spreading these

Considerable Wings 🪽

to Leap into the perceived

Unknown,

to risk all

whilst also remaining

somewhat

grounded.

Difficulty at the Beginning.

Yes!

Feel it!

Breathe it!

Choose

to Trust,

to Create,

to Live

without understanding Life,

to follow your Heart ❤️

annihilation

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death.

annihilation.

trans-formation.

no going back,

a time to grieve,

to let go

to let it burn 🔥

it – that which was

and can no longer

be

here

now.

a new identity awaits,

must allow the old

to gently fall away.

scared?

yes, petrified

standing

naked

at yet another Threshold.

where am I going?

where is my Songline leading?

skin shedding,

ancestral beliefs rising –

disempowerment,

unworthiness,

scarcity

the possibility of not living

to full potentiality.

that story ends

here

now

with me,

with fervent prayers,

with aligned community,

with Trust and surrender

day by day,

breath by deep breath,

re-leasing,

re-membering.

family

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not one thing,

many definitions.

sometimes,

unspeakably rough;

others, soft

beyond measure.

complicated

and yet

fundamentally simple.

requires constant

investment

and reciprocity.

a fertile garden

often neglected.

a stated priority

not borne out in

lived reality.

an ample bosom for belonging

and a crucible for isolation.

multitudes, this construct

of family,

expanding and contracting,

forever be-coming 🙏

re-membering

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three Little Birds

perched

on the Naked Tree.

the Tree

anchored

to a sheet of

white ice.

the Sky

so clear

and bright,

it startles the Eyes.

the Eyes

attached

to the human

being

intently watching,

closely listening,

slowly re-membering.

a child at play

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I am

a child

at play,

blissfully oblivious

to the perceived madness

“out there”.

In my imagination

I dwell

touching Earth 🌎

and Sky 🙏

No war in here,

nothing to fight for.

No hatred,

only true Love.

Generosity always,

in lieu of greed’s

incessant needs.

So bright,

exquisitely simple,

where I play.

Ease-full

especially when

the discomforts come.

CommUnity,

where I play.

It’s a small

intimate world 🌎

We know

see

hear

heal

tend to

each other.

Not Perfection –

far from it –

we are children

after all!

In our play Ground,

chaos joyfully dances 💃

with Innocence!

We are children

at play!

Come,

now,

join us!

All are welcome!

sweetness

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not enough

then

suddenly

too much!

something missing

what?

a yearning 

for sweetness,

release

from discipline,

a tipping point

of sorts,

can no longer run

or hide

sadness

disappointment

fear?

of what?

barely space

between internal stimulus

and its well-trodden response.

a mere taste

then

suddenly

the deluuge,

surrendering to the waterfall.

a deep

familiar

insatiable

hunger

for sweetness

presence

purpose

excitement

reasons

any

to be

here

now.

the fetus

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innately worthy,

The Source,

from which we all

spring.

when do we forget

what we really are

and spiral

down

deep into The Abyss

of not enough

and the sense of

unworthiness?

grateful for those moments

in exquisite remembrance,

a glimpse,

swirls of pale pinks & greys,

the Curiousity of Creativity

condensing into form,

the fetus,

planted in a womb.

chilling

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could not get warm,

could not sleep.

body stiff,

clinging to itself.

mind, racing;

heart, broken. 💔

parricide –

in what state of mind

is such a thing possible?

over and over and over

to rip into the flesh

that bore you,

to hear their cries,

screams,

pleas,

to feel their warm blood,

to witness

Life

leave the forms

from which you came.

chilling.

what we are capable of,

we, humans,

chilling.

the fragility of our psyche,

stunning.

we all walk on delicate ice

internally.

what is considered reality

can –

does –

suddenly

crack!

we fall in

deep,

become frozen.

and there

commit acts

so devastating

they ripple

far and wide. 😢

A Year-End Stream of Consciousness

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Lack of attunement is what I am feeling acutely … a familiar feeling … is this the “norm” for a Life of The Unexpected? If it is, how do I navigate? With patience, with altruism, with totality, with anticipation, with simplicity, with authority, with humanity, with freshness, creativity, and the allowance for emergence, with integrity, with diplomacy – with all your innate gifts. In this Moment of agitation, unease, entropy – where do I lean? When you don’t know yet what to do, do nothing, be Still – isn’t that the message this whole year especially from Goddess Sige, who appeared multiple times to and for me? Not so easy, Silence/Stillness – why I consume and seek incessantly and rarely find…What have I found this year? What have I learned? How have I changed ingesting so much beauty-full richness? What has integrated? I don’t know yet … and will wait … be patience until called back into The Eternal Void … What is the invitation here and now? What am I to learn? What are the insights? Where am I deaf and blind? How to emerge from this victim consciousness? What is another story? An epiphany? The Quintessence? What is the practice of equality that bridges weakness to Tenderness? What is the resolve needed to transform exhaustion and the deep desire to just dis-appear to truly hear and live Divine Will? I don’t know yet …Stop seeking and find what? Peace? Community? Attunement? “Right” Livelihood? Home? Meaning? Abundance? Yes, to all please … Do I believe it to be true: all that is sought resides within? What’s inside of me? Who am I? Why am I here, now? I don’t know yet … When will I know for certain? Maybe upon the last breath.

dreams

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what is

a dream

come true

for me?

what lies

over the Rainbow?

don’t know.

is that wrong?

feels so –

like some thing

missing,

a crucial piece

of a puzzle

glaring

it its absence.

hidden away,

perhaps,

some where deep

in side

waiting

patiently

for the right time.

“live the questions”

Rilke advised.

one day,

you’ll bump into

their answers.