Memories,
cannot access many –
blurry,
scary,
unwelcomed
they are.
Better to keep locked deep –
for now.
The time may come
to visit certain memories,
one by one,
soft and slow,
well resourced,
strongly grounded,
begin to see
the memories differently,
to heal the broken Heart,
melt the frozen bits,
integrate it all,
emanate a clearer frequency.
Genius
seems to come
at a very steep price.
Typically,
heavy drugs
for a gifted musician
or
egregious infidelity
for a talented athlete.
Why?
The weight of The Pedestal,
the unrealistic expectations,
the Godlike projections?
Or dizzying fame
borne too quick & too young,
allowing no adequate time
for a stronger foundation?
Always a similar story,
a shared humanity,
the need to escape the anxiety,
that knawing
lethal
relentless
core belief
of innate
unworthiness.
Alas, nowhere to run,
the angst always comes back.
Some heal, eventually learn.
Others, they cannot return.
unraveled,
she became completely
undone.
the difference this time:
she allowed herself to be
compassionately
witnessed,
and that
made all
the difference. 🙏
not enough
then
suddenly
too much!
something missing
what?
a yearning
for sweetness,
release
from discipline,
a tipping point
of sorts,
can no longer run
or hide
sadness
disappointment
fear?
of what?
barely space
between internal stimulus
and its well-trodden response.
a mere taste
then
suddenly
the deluuge,
surrendering to the waterfall.
a deep
familiar
insatiable
hunger
for sweetness
presence
purpose
excitement
reasons
any
to be
here
now.
what is the Sacred Work
I am to do
being
fully
here
now –
tired
grief-strickened
stunned
a tad numbed?
what can I offer
from “my” heArt
to “yours”?
the breath?
mere air?
yes, deep breathing
inhaling,
smelling
like the way of a baby,
taking It all
in and down
to the belly
to the Fire 🔥
hold It there
gently witness
trans-formation.
At the appointed time,
exhale
re-lease
birth
slowly
intentionally
Freshness
something new
something
needed
urgently
now!
This is what
I am
to do.
you are invited
to shed your masks
gently and slowly
begin to
un-hide
to touch
and be touched
to see anew
to feel and breathe
deeper
than you ever believed possible
to rest
to trust
surrender
fly
to Be in the here
all of you
now
and never
re-turn
to the you
in disguise.
a constant gnawing
deep within
to be fed
and tended to
through The Mouth
that did not know
its mother’s milk
suckled instead
by the middle finger
of its right hand
The Mouth that spoke
not a word
its first few years
now relentlessly demands
food
attention
silence
rarely satiated
riddled with shame
and melancholy
a downward spiral
often begins.
here, now
this time
a long breath
slowly let out
through The Mouth
gentler with the hunger
less intolerance
more patience.
just a few days ago,
a conversation ends,
powerful emotions swelled,
old wounds
ripped
re-opened,
breathing
constricted,
Earth under feet
no longer –
shifted,
cracked,
trembled.
oh no,
not again!
The Protectors
came to The Door –
not safe,
run away,
disengage!
afraid
to be
to speak
Me.
default
to please
all
to swallow
poisons
to smile
though the Heart
aches.
where Love
for Self
has not yet
matured
lack of
enoughness
takes root
bringing
constant recrimination
guilt
angst
such heaviness.
in this vast wilderness
Hope
a tiny Voice
a faint Light
stirrings
of an innate
Self-Regard 🙏
i dreamed
of a beach
last night.
crowded
frenetic
expansive
beach.
i felt
overwhelmed
afraid
anxious
alone
apart
exposed –
could not see
The Horizon.
burgeoninc 