this place,
these people,
those words,
that feeling,
been here before.
The Benevolent Universe
slowly closing a door,
ushering in
something unfamiliar
far beyond my
imagination –
another assignment
an opportunity
to learn
to grow
to contribute
and explore
pieces of me
never seen before.
anticipation clasps the hand
of trepidation,
resistance gradually gives way
to acceptance
of a Journey
marked by the continuous
making
and then
the breaking
of bonds.
just a few days ago,
a conversation ends,
powerful emotions swelled,
old wounds
ripped
re-opened,
breathing
constricted,
Earth under feet
no longer –
shifted,
cracked,
trembled.
oh no,
not again!
The Protectors
came to The Door –
not safe,
run away,
disengage!
“I am your husband,”
said The Mother
to The Daughter.
Not entirely an untruth,
as Mother dwells in household
with her eldest Daughter.
They share expenses
and secrets.
They are each other’s “somebody”
the unspoken priority,
the new nuclear family,
the what remains
when what was The Core
splinters off
never to return.
nineteen years
since you transitioned
to The Other Realms
no father, no more
like yesterday
when you left
in the arms of the woman you Love
on the bed of your and hers first born
a massive stroke
quickly
dramatically
graciously
commenced your way back Home
your Heart the last to go
fittingly
as It defined you
and, hence, me,
your namesake
thank you
for coming to me
in dream
recently
a rare occurrence
so cherished 🙏
you are missed
here
your Presence still felt
here
there really is no ending
simply a change to the scenery
what have we become?
un-done
dis-embodied
dis-membered
fear-full
looking
here then there
longing
for a time
that never was
desperate
for salvation
from the outside
un-able to go
in
down
and way back
to lineage
repressed
depressed
lonely
confused
thankfully 🙏
a few
awakened
just enough
perhaps
to save us all from
The Brink
there is no “other”
all lives are
Intertwined
a grand Lie
we are told
the myth of
individuality
of separateness
of boundaries
all illusions
we will soon see
no escaping that
sobering reality
afraid
to be
to speak
Me.
default
to please
all
to swallow
poisons
to smile
though the Heart
aches.
where Love
for Self
has not yet
matured
lack of
enoughness
takes root
bringing
constant recrimination
guilt
angst
such heaviness.
in this vast wilderness
Hope
a tiny Voice
a faint Light
stirrings
of an innate
Self-Regard 🙏
i dreamed
of a beach
last night.
crowded
frenetic
expansive
beach.
i felt
overwhelmed
afraid
anxious
alone
apart
exposed –
could not see
The Horizon.
been twelve years
today
since you’ve been gone 🙏
maceration on the in-side
then
pieces pulled out
bit by bloody bit
through three holes
drilled into
the abdomen.
from that point on,
a chapter closed:
in this Life Time,
no child
to come
through me,
pregnancy would manifest
differently.
since you’ve been gone,
much more emboldened –
the pieces of you
became my Wings 🪽
🙏
reel in
my feelings?
no!
been there,
done that.
lost a seminal piece
of my femininity.
then, a new body.
we do not return
as we came.
bits of us fall away
over time.
we give them away
unconsciously
desperate
to simply
hold
on.
burgeoninc 