The Doer

I see a Need

and I fill It-

no questions asked

no hesitation born of self-doubt.

No, I just do It now

do the Thing that beckons me,

scares me,

that which was meant for me only.

I do It with

the who I am,

what I have,

what I know

in this space and time.

What may now elude me

will eventually find me,

bringing the resources

I did not need

to immediately

heed and proceed.

You see, I, the Doer,

Trust

wholeheartedly – I simply must!

I trust in me,

steeped in a Power,

an inner knowing

beyond what I can comprehend

and see.

And of the inevitable obstacles,

but mere opportunities,

endless possibilities

to fulfil a sacred

responsibility

to be always in service to

our humanity.

 

 

 

music (draft un)

My muse,

what I turn to when utterly confused;

that which inspires

and sets my Soul and loins afire;

a bright Light

to the long, dark night;

the champagne that

not only lightens

the pain

but also

it explains.

My Love,

I cannot do without,

shy inhibitions,

you aptly loosen;

you make the mute, shout,

and the introvert dance wildly about-

as if no one is on watch;

you fill to overflow

with glee and joy

like a cherished Christmas Day toy!

Muse,

in melody, harmony and word,

you provide rich fodder

to be heard, felt and

deeply ponder.

Through you

in you,

by you,

I feel the close presence of my Lord!

I hear His gentle voice

direct to me, He talks!

My heart is

wide open,

softly broken,

sweetly aching.

The tears inevitable flow,

the floodgates, now ajar,

torrential rain, not far.

I relent, well spent:

my Soul, ascents.

Transformed,

informed,

humbled and grateful

to-

for-

the music

only Heaven could have borne.

 

 

 

pleasure

imagine a life devoid of pleasure, of great joy?

what would be the point?

an elder once shared

that pleasure is an indulgence

reserved for the blessed few with no cares.

“life is about duty and obligation,” elder declared.

even naïve, at the cusp of adulthood,

i knew deep inside that this was a flagrant falsehood.

no, that would not be my truth to bear.

for me, pleasure would be as essential as water and air.

unlike said elder,

i’d tasted pleasure.

pleasure came a knockin’ on my door,

i’d let it right on in asked for more –

eagerly

hungrily

desperately

and unapologetically.

i soaked up pleasure as if it were buried treasure!

there was no going back,

no about-face,

for i’d grown too fond of pleasure‘s intoxicating taste.

i continue to seek you, pleasure

in your various guises and splendor-

to relish in you responsibly

and unselfishly,

sharing you widely.

for this i know with great certainty:

life will bring its bitters –

that is a given.

but,

it also generously provides the sweets

to make it all tolerable and mercifully even.

 

 

 

 

giveback

to whom much is given,

in return, much is required.

so it is Written.

when one richly reaps,

recall to also generously sow.

this, the cycle of life, we must always note.

giveback:

our legacy to infinite eternity,

the ties that forever bind beyond time.

hold nothing back!

do in fact

go for broke

lest be broke.

this is the mandate

to negotiate

to fulfil one’s fate

to self-actualize and fully realize

one’s unique place

in this here space.

 

 

 

prayer: nearer to Thee

Lord,

I beseech you (yet again)

tell me

guide me

loudly and very clearly (please)

As to what I am

to do

to be

so that I may proceed

newly focused and accordingly.

At times, My Lord,

I grow so weary,

burdened with existential angst

and near constant worry,

not feeling remotely worthy.

Just

alone,

lonely,

needy,

profoundly empty.

From here,

nowhere to go nor to be,

only to draw

ever nearer and nearer to

Thee.

magnum opus

the color purple, seminal chef d’oeuvre Alice birthed;

roots by Alex helped African-Americans define our place here on this complicated Earth;

revelations, the glorious masterpiece Alvin conceived, changed forever how dance is perceived;

i have a dream, Dr. King presciently declared to a young nation its mandate laid bare;

like these fellow humans extraordinaire,

do we all, too, have deep inside a magnum opus to share –

some work of great resonance and immediacy

one channeled through us mysteriously and thoroughly

to awaken, enlighten, and inspire humanity

so as to foster lasting peace and unity

and help alleviate suffering, injustice and egregious inequality?

affirmative, i believe

as this may be the reason why we are here now and live.

our masterwork may manifest itself as

a seemingly subtle deed

or via the birth of a divine human being.

for some, an idea whose time has finally and suddenly been fashioned;

for others, an action or creation born of deliberate and obsessive passion.

it may be immediately recognized

or, initially, widely despised and reviled.

alas, we humans can be so naïve and blind.

what is your magnum opus

is it in the past

or do you feel it coming up for air and light at very last?

will you discern it as such

or cavalierly, insecurely dismiss it as mere fluff?

 

 

 

 

 

 

love in-action

mesmerized, I remain

obsessed, even, as if on cocaine

cannot get enough, don’t stop, but must

deeper and deeper, I am thrust

cannot get enough, don’t stop, but must

falling in “love” and in lust

with a being no longer with us

cannot get enough, don’t stop, but must

tell me, what am I to do,

how am I to be with these thoughts

this bitter and sweet misery

and burning desire to be let free,

to quickly go and join my love in eternity

“not quite yet,” whispers God above

cannot get enough, don’t stop, but must

a boulder stuck in my throat, hot tears in my eyes

love on my mind –

incessantly, sexually, spiritually

“God, please help me,” I plea

don’t want to get enough,

don’t want to stop

but – eventually – must

I remain here

love has disappeared

 

 

 

Off The Wall

Livin’ crazy that’s the only way. So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf. And just enjoy yourself. Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life ain’t so bad at all
If you live it off the wall

Off The Wall, the album and song by the incomparable and prodigiously talented, very definition of icon, Michael Jackson. Just a few days ago, in the midst of stumbling across a documentary about Michael’s journey to the making of this extraordinary album, I was literally transported way back in time, back to my prepubescent self. I recalled with stunning (and somewhat terrifying) clarity my dancing in my room with cousins and sisters, clinging to the Off the Wall album, holding it (Michael) close to my chest, singing along to every word on an album that I must have listened to hundreds of times – I could not get enough of Michael – his beautiful and perfect voice seemed to be speaking directly to and into me.

Bon Dieu the power of scent, food and music to return us to another time in our life – years, decades earlier as if no time had passed. We see, hear, taste all exactly as it was. A reminder that we carry all of the different iterations of ourselves within our selves. Nothing is ever really lost or forgotten. The body and Soul store it all and bring it rushing back to us with just the right trigger. Nothing we can do when that chain reaction commences – just hold on, just let it be. Resistance is indeed very futile.

Even as we go back, we eventually return to the present Moment with a new appreciation for the trigger that took us back. When I journeyed back from prepubescence to middle age me, it was as if my eyes had suddenly opened. I could see. There was a renewed relevance to the lyrics of Off the Wall; nuances I could better grasp and appreciate.

Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall..

I have never in my life felt “normal.” Even as a child, I could not verbalize that feeling, but I felt it. Something ain’t quite right; I am not like others my age. Well over thirty years later, very little has changed in that sentiment. Now, with “maturity,” I am more accepting of Self than I was back then. This is me, this is it. Take it or leave it.

Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall..

I continue to do my best to live my life on the wall (I suppose one would say), keeping myself on the straight and narrow and traditional. Such a responsible path has always felt so utterly and painfully uncomfortable for me, like a straitjacket, like wings clipped, and Spirit dampened.

Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall..Live your life off the wall (live it off the wall)

Michael’s words, his commandment to live life off the wall ran through me, washed over me, and continue to reverberate to this Moment. It felt, feels like I am being given permission (finally) to just me authentically me.

Live your life off the wall

A clarion call for me, if ever there was one…Indeed, there is no other choice really. One must be who one really is, lest one dries up like a raisin in the sun, to quote another Great One. Deep in my heart, I believe we are each here, each wonderfully and fiercely crafted to do a particular job for our World. This special role is the byproduct only of authenticity.

Groove, let the madness …{Of Your} music get {in}to you
Life ain’t so bad at all, If you live it off the wall

Not only is life ain’t so bad at all, it is bliss to be you, to be true, to fully self-actualize and gift our World with our unique magnificence. At first glimpse, it may indeed appear that such a life is off the wall. Difference/uniqueness elicit such intense unease in humans. We tend to favor predictability, matters and people placed neatly on the wall where we can easily digest, understand and deem safe – even if on some level we know this safety is a grand illusion. Artists like MJ, provocateurs in our midst both revered and reviled, remind us/warn us of the precariousness of our illusions and whisper in our ears what our Souls (our true Selves) already know…

Livin’ crazy that’s the only way. So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf. And just {be} yourself.  Groove, let the madness …{Of Your} music get {in}to you.
Life ain’t so bad at all
If you live it off the wall

fear- part one: tech

“People fear what they do not understand.”

I have heard these words uttered twice in the past 72 hours – both times, the reference was to technology.

In the first instance, a well-known advocate for an entirely different perspective on child-rearing, noted that in current times, even as parents provided their children with technology (smart phones, iPads, computers, etc.), there resides in them great fear about what technology will do to their children – the havoc it will wreak. Is the easy access to information via Google resulting in our children growing up way too quickly, exposed to information and images their brains are simply not developed to process? Is childhood innocence gone at the age of just two once The Device is placed in their little and eager hands? A few weeks ago, I watched in wonderment and a bit of angst as the seven-month old son of a friend became entranced with my cell phone – he would simply not allow me to take it away and replace it with jiggly keys (was there not a time when babies loved jiggly keys?) Will our children-who now text while sitting mere inches from each in the same room- grow up to become disconnected, antisocial beings unable to foster close and loving relationships that require full presence and expressed vulnerability? What physical ailments will manifest themselves from all that swiping and necks inclined ever downward looking into a little screen- remember carpal tunnel syndrome?

“People fear what they do not understand.”

The second time I heard these words was in the movie, Transcendence, starring Johnny Depp in a stunning portrayal of a genius scientist conducting research on artificial intelligence (AI). He becomes a victim of people who fear the implications of his research. It was felt that he and his ilk were attempting to play God, that they could not fully know the consequences of what they were attempting to create. How would we control AI once it was unleashed into an ever technologically connected and dependent world?

“People fear what they do not understand.”

Like parents, governments and corporations provide the means for technology. We feed this thing we do not fully understand because we feel compelled to do so even as it scares us. We think this is what human advancement looks like – ever pushing the boundaries, believing it will make our world a better, more efficient place. Humans are a messy and unpredictable pile of contradictions filled to over flow with “issues” and heavy baggage. That said, do we really wish to bet our future on us? Uh, no! Hence, by funding research into artificial intelligence and willingly underwriting technological gadgets for our children, we may believe that we are providing the world and its future leaders with a distinct advantage. The ethos appears to be that technology- done and used “correctly”-is the manifestation of the best of humanity – our beautiful brain/the clear logic without the messiness of emotionality. It’s all about efficiency because don’t nobody got the time these days, we have to move and move quickly on to the next.

“People fear what they do not understand.”

Still, despite our logic, the gut instincts that are partly responsible for our survival, whisper deep in our Soul to not completely trust technology (don’t believe the hype, it warns). We desperately want to, would be so much easier if we could. But our gut is not having it, and so it dogs us until we relent. Parents give their children the fancy “smart” gadgets, but can only do so comfortably by exerting parental control through the installation of technology that makes this possible. Governments, corporations and the 1% pour billions into the study and application of artificial intelligence while also funding research that will function to mitigate the unforeseen consequences of said technology that might be detrimental to the same humans who produced it.

“People fear what they do not (fully) understand.”

And what we fear, we seek to control in order to rest a little easier-just in case…for to be human is to be fully cognizant-on some level-of our limitations and fallibility.

 

 

 

The Six Word Blog – Scene One

The great Ernest Hemingway is said to have drafted the following six-word story:

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

Wow, six little words so utterly rich with meaning and texture!

Inspired by Hemingway, I humbly offer the following six-word blog – the first in a series:

“Be happy: Let go; no expectation.”