One Week

Suddenly,

left eye

redness,

pain,

intense light sensitivity.

oh no, uveitis, again?

so soon?

sadness born of

a knowingness.

“I did this.”

relentlessly

disrespectfully

pushed and pushed,

ignored Body’s

implore

to stop,

subtract.

Then the dream

set in another time –

childhood.

garbage overflowing,

unattended

and yet,

still present.

a father

feeding a mother,

their daughter

holding space

for others.

The next day,

head slammed

into metal.

where?

right above

the healing

left eye!

did the brain move?

was some semblance

of sense knocked into

the head, a subtle

and much-needed,

shifting of consciousness?

A few days later:

morning, bore witness

to a wake of vultures

tearing into flesh.

evening, a searing ache

in the middle of the head,

eyes burning,

bedridden.

relief, only from

sleep –

stop,

subtract.

sacred work

what is the Sacred Work

I am to do

being

fully

here

now –

tired

grief-strickened

stunned

a tad numbed?

what can I offer

from “my” heArt

to “yours”?

the breath?

mere air?

yes, deep breathing

inhaling,

smelling

like the way of a baby,

taking It all

in and down

to the belly

to the Fire πŸ”₯

hold It there

gently witness

trans-formation.

At the appointed time,

exhale

re-lease

birth

slowly

intentionally

Freshness

something new

something

needed

urgently

now!

This is what

I am

to do.

the edges of sourdough bread

some times

i get hungry,

typically late

at night,

just before

i am supposed to be

in bed.

the hunger comes –

an unease in the pit

of my gut.

the mouth follows

with a desperate urge for…

what

exactly?

don’t want to go deep

now.

and so i reach

for the sourdough bread,

carefully peeling its edges,

nibbling,

satiated.

any pieces beneath the crust –

whoa…intense!

it feels way too much!

summer

always so activating,
the summer months,
for me:
so much skin exposed,
flesh seemingly everywhere-
breasts
legs
midriffs
butt checks-
all as overwhelming
and stifling
as the humidity
and the heat
and that inner voice
incessant speak:
cover up and hide,
yours is not a body
for display to the outside
.”