chilling

could not get warm,

could not sleep.

body stiff,

clinging to itself.

mind, racing;

heart, broken. πŸ’”

parricide

in what state of mind

is such a thing possible?

over and over and over

to rip into the flesh

that bore you,

to hear their cries,

screams,

pleas,

to feel their warm blood,

to witness

Life

leave the forms

from which you came.

chilling.

what we are capable of,

we, humans,

chilling.

the fragility of our psyche,

stunning.

we all walk on delicate ice

internally.

what is considered reality

can –

does –

suddenly

crack!

we fall in

deep,

become frozen.

and there

commit acts

so devastating

they ripple

far and wide. 😒

Message Blocking is Active

blocked 🚫

mere months

after The Transition

of he who was The Force

keeping family afloat,

tethered,

ever so delicately.

without him,

shedding,

the masks came off,

niceties abandoned.

“Love” disintegrated

to the point of blocking 🚫

take nothing personally.

still, sad,

feels abrasive,

like a middle finger πŸ–•

borne of deep hurt

a sense of disrespect,

expectations unmet.

The Circle πŸ”΅ dwindling

by death

and, now, blocks 🚫

everything

so tender,

tenuous,

ephemeral.

sacred work

what is the Sacred Work

I am to do

being

fully

here

now –

tired

grief-strickened

stunned

a tad numbed?

what can I offer

from “my” heArt

to “yours”?

the breath?

mere air?

yes, deep breathing

inhaling,

smelling

like the way of a baby,

taking It all

in and down

to the belly

to the Fire πŸ”₯

hold It there

gently witness

trans-formation.

At the appointed time,

exhale

re-lease

birth

slowly

intentionally

Freshness

something new

something

needed

urgently

now!

This is what

I am

to do.

Beauty in The Bleakness

marveling at the resplendent Peacock 🦚

its extra-ordinary ability to in-gest

poison

and trans-form it into breathtaking, awe-inspiring Beauty.

reminds me of the Lotus πŸͺ·

thriving in bleak

muddy waters πŸ’§

ah, the lessons nature teaches

when we choose to slow down

listen intently,

look up & down & all around carefully,

really lean into

the Totality of Life,

this Moment,

each other.

opportunities abound everywhere

to trans-form the perceived mess and chaos

into gentle medicine for all;

into something vastly different than we’ve ever experienced –

more relevant, courageous, mature, and equitable.

there is unimaginable Beauty in this bleakness.

can you feel it?

contradictions

I don’t recall

ever

seeing your violent side.

To me, you were always

one-of-a-kind  –

the cool,

tall,

dark & handsome uncle.

Never saw the part of you

who terrorized

your beautiful wife;

the you

who would beat

women

children

with a baseball bat!

Could I have loved you

if I had witnessed that?

Like Jekyll & Hyde,

we humans.

So many contradictions

and perplexing multitudes.

“Good” and “evil”

in equal measure

cutting through

all our hearts.

Are we to be confined

to the worst moments

of our lives?

We are made

crafted

molded

into who we become.

No innate monsters,

only beings

tragically un-done

wrecking havoc

in their altered state.

How do we be different –

infuse more love and tenderness;

choose significantly less violence,

champion wit and wisdom

instead of whips on children’s skin

and weapons of mass destruction?

hunger

a constant gnawing

deep within

to be fed

and tended to

through The Mouth

that did not know

its mother’s milk

suckled instead

by the middle finger

of its right hand

The Mouth that spoke

not a word

its first few years

now relentlessly demands

food

attention

silence

rarely satiated

riddled with shame

and melancholy

a downward spiral

often begins.

here, now

this time

a long breath

slowly let out

through The Mouth

gentler with the hunger

less intolerance

more patience.

Yolanda

Are you homeless?”

she asked,

penetrating my self immersion.

No, why?

I responded, a tad vexed.

Because of your bag,”

she said,

pointing to the shopping cart

I was wheeling behind me.

I am homeless,”

she shared.

I stopped,

emerged from my shell.

We stood

face to face

under a first quarter moon,

meeting each other.

Yolanda was her name –

engaging,

loquacious,

deeply rooted in her faith,

enamored of the Celestial Realms.

She spoke of harrowing experiences in the local shelters,

of the inconsiderate and dangerous conditions  –

especially

for a woman

alone.

Just a year ago,

Yolanda had a home,

a husband,

was employed with a car.

A divorce rendered her without,

leading to her sleeping

outside

for the first time

on a frigid and blustery night.

Yolanda alluded to

grown children,

yet gave thanks

only to the kind strangers

who kept her fed

and still alive.

“I will pray for you,”

I offered humbly.

And I have,

and will continue to

pray for Yolanda

and all in our human family

on their own

out

in the bitter cold.

This is not the way it’s supposed to be!

We are each other’s keeper!

Indeed, we are each other!

When did we forget this?

No mere coincidence,

my time with Yolanda.

Divinely orchestrated,

potent seeds planted.

An assignment awaits.

Grace

we fall down

and we get up

we fall asleep

and we wake up

back and forth

up and down

the spectrum of consciousness

we go

round and round

the cycle of unwellness

until

sometimes quite suddenly

a shift

from deep Within

Grace

a gentle beckoning

to another

completely different

way