Off The Wall

February 8, 2016February 8, 2016 / ThreeLenses / 2 Comments

Livin’ crazy that’s the only way. So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf. And just enjoy yourself. Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life ain’t so bad at all
If you live it off the wall

Off The Wall, the album and song by the incomparable and prodigiously talented, very definition of icon, Michael Jackson. Just a few days ago, in the midst of stumbling across a documentary about Michael’s journey to the making of this extraordinary album, I was literally transported way back in time, back to my prepubescent self. I recalled with stunning (and somewhat terrifying) clarity my dancing in my room with cousins and sisters, clinging to the Off the Wall album, holding it (Michael) close to my chest, singing along to every word on an album that I must have listened to hundreds of times – I could not get enough of Michael – his beautiful and perfect voice seemed to be speaking directly to and into me.

Bon Dieu the power of scent, food and music to return us to another time in our life – years, decades earlier as if no time had passed. We see, hear, taste all exactly as it was. A reminder that we carry all of the different iterations of ourselves within our selves. Nothing is ever really lost or forgotten. The body and Soul store it all and bring it rushing back to us with just the right trigger. Nothing we can do when that chain reaction commences – just hold on, just let it be. Resistance is indeed very futile.

Even as we go back, we eventually return to the present Moment with a new appreciation for the trigger that took us back. When I journeyed back from prepubescence to middle age me, it was as if my eyes had suddenly opened. I could see. There was a renewed relevance to the lyrics of Off the Wall; nuances I could better grasp and appreciate.

Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall..

I have never in my life felt “normal.” Even as a child, I could not verbalize that feeling, but I felt it. Something ain’t quite right; I am not like others my age. Well over thirty years later, very little has changed in that sentiment. Now, with “maturity,” I am more accepting of Self than I was back then. This is me, this is it. Take it or leave it.

Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall..

I continue to do my best to live my life on the wall (I suppose one would say), keeping myself on the straight and narrow and traditional. Such a responsible path has always felt so utterly and painfully uncomfortable for me, like a straitjacket, like wings clipped, and Spirit dampened.

Life ain’t so bad at all, if you live it off the wall..Live your life off the wall (live it off the wall)

Michael’s words, his commandment to live life off the wall ran through me, washed over me, and continue to reverberate to this Moment. It felt, feels like I am being given permission (finally) to just me authentically me.

Live your life off the wall

A clarion call for me, if ever there was one…Indeed, there is no other choice really. One must be who one really is, lest one dries up like a raisin in the sun, to quote another Great One. Deep in my heart, I believe we are each here, each wonderfully and fiercely crafted to do a particular job for our World. This special role is the byproduct only of authenticity.

Groove, let the madness …{Of Your} music get {in}to you
Life ain’t so bad at all, If you live it off the wall

Not only is life ain’t so bad at all, it is bliss to be you, to be true, to fully self-actualize and gift our World with our unique magnificence. At first glimpse, it may indeed appear that such a life is off the wall. Difference/uniqueness elicit such intense unease in humans. We tend to favor predictability, matters and people placed neatly on the wall where we can easily digest, understand and deem safe – even if on some level we know this safety is a grand illusion. Artists like MJ, provocateurs in our midst both revered and reviled, remind us/warn us of the precariousness of our illusions and whisper in our ears what our Souls (our true Selves) already know…

Livin’ crazy that’s the only way. So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf. And just {be} yourself. Groove, let the madness …{Of Your} music get {in}to you.
Life ain’t so bad at all
If you live it off the wall

fear- part one: tech

January 24, 2016January 24, 2016 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

“People fear what they do not understand.”

I have heard these words uttered twice in the past 72 hours – both times, the reference was to technology.

In the first instance, a well-known advocate for an entirely different perspective on child-rearing, noted that in current times, even as parents provided their children with technology (smart phones, iPads, computers, etc.), there resides in them great fear about what technology will do to their children – the havoc it will wreak. Is the easy access to information via Google resulting in our children growing up way too quickly, exposed to information and images their brains are simply not developed to process? Is childhood innocence gone at the age of just two once The Device is placed in their little and eager hands? A few weeks ago, I watched in wonderment and a bit of angst as the seven-month old son of a friend became entranced with my cell phone – he would simply not allow me to take it away and replace it with jiggly keys (was there not a time when babies loved jiggly keys?) Will our children-who now text while sitting mere inches from each in the same room- grow up to become disconnected, antisocial beings unable to foster close and loving relationships that require full presence and expressed vulnerability? What physical ailments will manifest themselves from all that swiping and necks inclined ever downward looking into a little screen- remember carpal tunnel syndrome?

“People fear what they do not understand.”

The second time I heard these words was in the movie, Transcendence, starring Johnny Depp in a stunning portrayal of a genius scientist conducting research on artificial intelligence (AI). He becomes a victim of people who fear the implications of his research. It was felt that he and his ilk were attempting to play God, that they could not fully know the consequences of what they were attempting to create. How would we control AI once it was unleashed into an ever technologically connected and dependent world?

“People fear what they do not understand.”

Like parents, governments and corporations provide the means for technology. We feed this thing we do not fully understand because we feel compelled to do so even as it scares us. We think this is what human advancement looks like – ever pushing the boundaries, believing it will make our world a better, more efficient place. Humans are a messy and unpredictable pile of contradictions filled to over flow with “issues” and heavy baggage. That said, do we really wish to bet our future on us? Uh, no! Hence, by funding research into artificial intelligence and willingly underwriting technological gadgets for our children, we may believe that we are providing the world and its future leaders with a distinct advantage. The ethos appears to be that technology- done and used “correctly”-is the manifestation of the best of humanity – our beautiful brain/the clear logic without the messiness of emotionality. It’s all about efficiency because don’t nobody got the time these days, we have to move and move quickly on to the next.

“People fear what they do not understand.”

Still, despite our logic, the gut instincts that are partly responsible for our survival, whisper deep in our Soul to not completely trust technology (don’t believe the hype, it warns). We desperately want to, would be so much easier if we could. But our gut is not having it, and so it dogs us until we relent. Parents give their children the fancy “smart” gadgets, but can only do so comfortably by exerting parental control through the installation of technology that makes this possible. Governments, corporations and the 1% pour billions into the study and application of artificial intelligence while also funding research that will function to mitigate the unforeseen consequences of said technology that might be detrimental to the same humans who produced it.

“People fear what they do not (fully) understand.”

And what we fear, we seek to control in order to rest a little easier-just in case…for to be human is to be fully cognizant-on some level-of our limitations and fallibility.

GRACE

September 21, 2015 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

how does one adequately define and contain this thing known as Grace?

the word in speech calms and soothes; it brings with it hope and the promise of salvation.

we know Grace when we see it, feel it, but what exactly is it?

Grace is unearned we learn, given freely to those most undeserving.

“ask and you shall receive,” scripture teaches. “knock and the door shall open.”

so, is Grace answered prayer, outcomes relentlessly hoped and prayed for?

what of the unanswered prayers and doors never opened?

“there but for the Grace of God,” we utter somewhat sheepishly when the fickle, unpredictable hands of perceived misfortune pass us by.

what then when we are brought to our knees, when life unexpectedly and fiercely pivots into the unknown, the unwelcomed and unwanted new normal?

is there Grace in the darkness, the mess, the despair?

or does Grace only reside in the light, the clarity, the joy?

does Grace come solely from above, from our God?

or can we, spiritual beings in human flesh, also be Grace-ious, bestowing Grace upon each other?

is God’s will the opposite or is it synonymous to His Grace?

how does one define Grace, this small big word that is so often referenced and yet so rarely fully grasped?

perhaps, like beauty and God (and other such big small concepts), Grace is defined by its beholder and is also beyond definition.

what can happen in a second

August 7, 2015August 7, 2015 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

love

connection

birth

death

change

perspective

memory

epiphany

creativity

redemption

clarity

tears

sleep

breath

sorrow

devastation

joy

life

Time brings all things to pass. AESCHYLUS

the Beauty you Love

July 26, 2015July 26, 2015 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

“Let the beauty you love be what you do…”

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love…”

These two quotes count among the many beautiful words of great wisdom that I love from Rumi. As is always the case when I spend time engulfed in Rumi, everything stops and I am still at last. From this exquisite place, I can go deep into whom and what I really am. I can see clearly. I can breathe again. I can remember all that I find beautiful in our world – that which deeply resonates in me, draws me in, calls to me, sings to me, completely disarms me, beckons me, enchants me, embraces me, calms me, frees me, feeds me, lifts me, loves me.

Plato observed that “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.”

Pondering the beauty that my eyes behold, I come to see that which I find beautiful is what I really love; that which I truly and effortlessly love is what I find beautiful. It does not seem possible to not love that which one finds beautiful or to love that which one does not find beautiful. Beauty and love are inextricable – linked down to our very Soul.

At the level of the Soul, reason has no place. Hence, explaining “…the strange pull of what you really love…” Within your Soul, there is only surrender and trust to the true Self. Here, no questions are allowed or asked; there are no doubts, only pure and unadulterated Truth. The Soul is where who you really are resides – straight no chaser, no filters, no mask, no shame, and no fear. In this quiet, fertile and vulnerable space, beauty and the love it elicits are all that matter and you are invited to lean in and be informed by the beauty you love.

I shiver with joy at the thought of what our world could be if we all had the courage to heed the Soul’s call, longing and invitation to let the beauty we really love (that which draws and pulls us) be what we do, what we offer to each other. So says Rumi: “There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth.”

Let It begin within Me

June 22, 2015June 22, 2015 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

My entire life, words – be they in a book, a poem, sung or prayed – have always fed, sustained, calmed and emboldened me. And so, given the heartbreaking events of the last week, I turn to words to inform and guide.

Yesterday, I heard a Wise One share with a Student that if one’s intention is to bring balance to the world, one must be balanced in oneself. This is another way to say that one cannot offer what one does not possess or as within so without. Hearing those words felt like an answer to a prayer I was not consciously aware I had made. The floodgates opened and more words came, mostly in song, that reminded me that we will only ever really overcome someday by paying careful attention to what resides deep in our own hearts, souls and minds – as we are indeed One and the very thin line between “good” and “evil” cuts through all our hearts.

I could hear Michael Jackson singing this perspective so poignantly:

If you want to make the world a better place, You have to look at Yourself and make that change.

To reinforce this point, the powerful Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi came clearly to my mind and heart:

Lord, make Me an instrument of your peace…Where there is hatred, let Me sow love…Where there is darkness, let Me sow Light…

Even my inner child chimed in, sing and imploring:

This little Light of Mine…let It shine….let it shine…let it shine…

Eventually, all quiet on my Soul’s Front:

Ego: I get it!

My Soul: Do you really? Just in case…

And then it came, The Big One: the words to a most beloved song; one I have sung and hummed to myself since I’m a child and more than any other in my life; a song that has consistently brought me from the brink of madness borne of sadness by providing me with the invaluable gifts of light, hope, peace, clarity and profound comfort. The song:

Let there be peace on Earth

According to Wikipedia, this beautiful song was written in 1955 by Jill Jackson Miller and Sy Miller. Interestingly given recent events, the story goes, in that same year “…a group of 180 teenagers of all races and religions, meeting at a workshop high in the California mountains, locked arms, formed a circle and sang…”Let there be peace on earth”…to help create a climate for world peace and understanding.”

2015, 60 years later, here we are…Let there be peace on Earth

I’ll close with one of my many renditions of this masterpiece. When one cherishes a song, when it becomes part of your DNA/your signature, organically you tinker with it making it truly your very own (like a loved recipe). This version of Let there be peace on Earth does not stray too much from the extraordinarily moving original:

Let there be peace on Earth
and let it begin within me.

Let there be peace on Earth,
the peace that was meant to be.

With God as our Father,
related all are we (we are One).
Let us live with each other
in peace and harmony.

Let peace begin within me.
Let this be the moment now (right now!).
With ev’ry breath I take
let this be my solemn vow:
To take each moment
and be in each moment
in peace internally.
Let there be peace on earth
and let it begin within me.

L.I.F.E: Series One

June 13, 2015June 13, 2015 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

The L is for Love

“How deep is your love?
I really mean to learn
‘Cause we’re living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me.” the Bee Gees

I cannot hear these beautiful lyrics without dissolving into a puddle of tears, they so deeply resonate for me -to this day. Really, what is Life without deep LOVE? Love unites -we belong to you and me. Love cushions and soothes ‘cause we’re living in a world of fools. Love is a balm to weary Souls that are repeatedly broken down and not let be. Love is a beacon of bright light when one is lost in the Abyss. Love is inside and all around us. Sometimes it is palpable and obvious, other times it is frustratingly elusive, mysterious and ineffable. Love prefers that you not chase it, “Let me come to you,” it whispers. “I promise I’ll be worth the wait.”

The I is for Integrity

“To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” William Shakespeare, Hamlet

With each passing year of life, it becomes more and more clear that integrity is crucial to a well lived and deeply satisfying life. It gets more challenging to bear The Mask as one matures. You simply do not possess the wherewithal and patience to carry the weight of conformity, pretending to be and do that which you innately are not. There is a part of us (the inner child, the soft still voice inside) that yearns to be true, to be free, to be consistently you in all circumstances and with all people. There is indeed this indomitable push to just be You – no matter the cost. Yes, be assured, cultivating integrity will cost you in effort, time, money, people, etc. Still, it is an investment that will pay unparalleled dividends to many and do so indefinitely.

F is for Faith

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

These words are my favorite in the Bible, the words I come back to repeatedly when I desperately need to access my Faith. I often wonder how Life is navigated without faith in something or someone. So much transpires every day that defies logic and renders us in numb disbelief (think 9/11, cops beating on a man while he cries out “I can’t breathe!”, tsunamis, war, etc). How does one remain human, soft and open when one is relentlessly bombarded with distressing news? Faith. Faith (in all its various permutations) buoys and grounds. It is the root, the start of everything else that is meaningful in life.

E is for Enjoy

“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” Mother Teresa

Reading these poignant words by Mother Teresa (wisdom made flesh), I recall a conversation I had with a person of great influence in my life just a few days before graduating from college. “I am not happy,” I shared, nervous and near tears. ‘Life is not about happiness,” was the curt response I received. Ah, but it is I have since learned. Life is meant to be Enjoyed. Joy is not frivolous nor is its pursuit a sin. Joy is a powerful magnet, a net of love that draws us ever closer to our essence and to each other. There are few more delicious experiences in life than to wholeheartedly surrender to joy. Think about holding a baby or a puppy, a child’s unbridled laughter, eating warm bread or creamy ice cream, strolling a deserted beach on a beautiful summer day, watching the sun rise and fall, a full moon on a lake – all joyful and to be fully enjoyed.

A Vignette from a Bar, Act One: Harlem, USA

May 2, 2015May 2, 2015 / ThreeLenses / Leave a comment

Regularly venturing outside my zone of comfort and familiarity is a stated and lived goal in my life – one I make sure to adhere to every day. It is with this intention in mind that I allowed myself to partake in the bar scene after enjoying a fine meal at a beautifully intimate restaurant in Harlem.

After dinner, we headed upstairs to the packed and happening bar with its sexy bartenders and pulsating house music that took me way back to tha days! My friends and I scanned the room in search of suitable chocolate honeys. My eyes fall upon a particular honey – one with the physical characteristics I instantly responded to on a very visceral (and yes, I admit, most basic) level. “Let’s walk over to him,” a friend suggests. A woman walking over to a man? Not my usual or preferred style. But, hey, this was about veering a little away from my pattern, doing what is different and uncomfortable. So be it…

We walked over to the honey. Turns out he is celebrating a friend’s birthday. Honey shows no interest in me, showering attention on my friend. All good because, up close and in the light, honey was less appetizing to me – that base chakra of mine cooled down significantly and quickly!

With honey focused on my friend, his boy (the one celebrating a birthday) took it upon himself to entertain. He shared that he is now 55 years old.

“And how old are you?” he asked.

“Forty-six,” I responded.

“No?!” he gasped, genuinely stunned, “you can’t be!”

O—-kay, what the hell is this about, I thought to myself, knowing instinctively that this scene was only going downward from this point – and it did, fast!

In an attempt to keep matters light while I plot an exit plan, I said in jest “How do I know that you are really 55 years old?”

I expected (hoped) he’d flash a driver’s license or provide a response that would serve as fodder for a bit of fun repartee. No such luck.

“If you bend over,” he whispered in my ear, his fingers stroking the base of my spine, “I will prove it to you!”

Oh yes, he did go there. I kid you not!

Another friend, thoroughly disgusted, immediately walked away. I, with prosecco splashing about in my head, calmly smiled, recalling the lyrics to a favored song by Lauryn Hill: “…forgive them Father for they know not what they do…”

Eventually, I politely excused myself. I had risked and played outside my lines. The expectation of reward in the form of conscious coupling (yes, it can happen at a bar) was not met.

Still, the longer I live, the more I appreciate the old saying that it is not about the destination so much as it is about the journey; a reminder to me to not allow the expectation to dictate my motivation – to do and to be simply to do and to be. In Buddhism, as I interpret it, this is about the practice of non-attachment.

As I write, I recall these powerful words from the Bhagavad Gita that continue to serve me on this often challenging life journey:

“You have the right to your actions but never to your actions’ fruits. Act for the action’s sake. And do not be attached to inaction. Self-possessed, resolute, act without any thoughts of results, open to success or failure.”

These words take me to another powerful work, the Tao Te Ching, which humbly offers the following: “Do your work, then step back. The only Path to serenity.”

I did my work, and now I step back. One day, soon, I will choose to do the work (play at a fabulous bar) yet again. Regardless of the results, I will step back and then compose Act Two. And so it goes….