A Year-End Stream of Consciousness

Lack of attunement is what I am feeling acutely … a familiar feeling … is this the “norm” for a Life of The Unexpected? If it is, how do I navigate? With patience, with altruism, with totality, with anticipation, with simplicity, with authority, with humanity, with freshness, creativity, and the allowance for emergence, with integrity, with diplomacy – with all your innate gifts. In this Moment of agitation, unease, entropy – where do I lean? When you don’t know yet what to do, do nothing, be Still – isn’t that the message this whole year especially from Goddess Sige, who appeared multiple times to and for me? Not so easy, Silence/Stillness – why I consume and seek incessantly and rarely find…What have I found this year? What have I learned? How have I changed ingesting so much beauty-full richness? What has integrated? I don’t know yet … and will wait … be patience until called back into The Eternal Void … What is the invitation here and now? What am I to learn? What are the insights? Where am I deaf and blind? How to emerge from this victim consciousness? What is another story? An epiphany? The Quintessence? What is the practice of equality that bridges weakness to Tenderness? What is the resolve needed to transform exhaustion and the deep desire to just dis-appear to truly hear and live Divine Will? I don’t know yet …Stop seeking and find what? Peace? Community? Attunement? “Right” Livelihood? Home? Meaning? Abundance? Yes, to all please … Do I believe it to be true: all that is sought resides within? What’s inside of me? Who am I? Why am I here, now? I don’t know yet … When will I know for certain? Maybe upon the last breath.

authenticity

I changed

my mind –

one minute, this;

the next second, that.

not who I was just

then.

see so clearly

all ignored before.

stronger now,

found my Voice!

Grace granted –

always and with ease –

to pivot

and politely decline

in the name of

authenticity 🙏

stretching

don’t feel like
what I was
then
just yesterday.
body feels looser,
more spacious.
mind,
lighter
a little less judgment
and constriction.
heart
beats slower,
breaks faster,
heals
spontaneously.
all of me
stretching,
breaking agreements
defying parameters
that no longer fit.
maturity
settling in,
eldership,
dusk.
.
🙏🥰
.

Lifetime Work

unconditional
un-conditioned
Love of OneSelf
is
Life
Time
Work.
an easy path,
it is not
nor one for the faint of heart.
demanding, unrelenting
work,
this quest for ego-less
Love of
Self.
a bit of an expedition,
deep dive digging.
venturing into the tender realms
and shadowy spaces,
this Journey goes way back –
to the Womb
and generations beyond.
a constant unfolding,
mirrors abound,
reflections, astound.
an end
does eventually come
and with it
complete transformation.
.
🙏

let go

let go
surrender
detach
exhale
allow Life’s River
its pace.
trust
in The Great Story
your dharma
and it’s mysterious
entanglements.
we can never know
the Totality of The Journey –
bits and pieces revealed
here and there
only where
quiet resides
an intentional pause
spaces for softenings
leaning in…facing
stillness to know.

let go
leap into potentiality
spread your considerable Wings 🪽
hear the gentle wind
guide
as you simply glide
like the majestic ✨️ Eagle
freed from fear
filled will Love ❤️
soaring
limitless
emanating
elevating us all 🙏
.

NO MORE

what will it take

to study war no more?

how many precious Lives;

how much devastation;

to shed delusions

of “you”

“me”

“they”

“we”?

what will it take

to See

inter-sectionality,

inter-dependence,

inter-being;

that I am Me

because you are You?

how to be finally relieved

of this exhausting

burden and cycle of trauma

seeded in

retaliation

revenge

reactivity

dis-regulation

and perceived “wins”?

where is the Space

for cultivation of

mind-full

measured

response?

what will it take to just

STOP ✋️

consciously chose

LOVE

in lieu of hate?

when do we decide

we walk the paths much less trodden –

forgiveness, Truth, reconciliation?

what spells and prayers might we invoke,

sacred concoctions prepared

to awaken from our stubborn slumber,

to re-member our shared humanity,

banish war from our vocabulary,

curate abiding Peace ✌️ 🙏 only ❤️

We Fall Down

I forget –

often –

just how much I am privileged

and blessed,

allowing The Darkness to rise

and My Light to then subside.

Ironically,

gratitude never ceases,

it remains steadfast,

knowing this resurrected Shadow shall too pass.

Surrendering,

I will remember:

we fall down,

become lost,

and are –

eventually –

re-found.

Letting go,

I slowly begin to dissolve

that desperate,

terribly frightened façade.

Breathing deeply

and in-tentionally,

re-leasing lineages of conditioning

and very old stories,

the tight knots

in heart and belly

begin to relax,

they unwind.

I return –

once again –

to some humble

Presence of mind.

Sacred Moment

this strange,
sudden
lonely
traumatic
seclusion.
A particularly fierce form of Grace.
All a bit of a blur-
so much has taken place
as revealed by this now wizened face.
Innocence gained and lost
as we endeavor to make the most
of what is truly a Sacred Moment
a pause, a break, space
for resurrection and metamorphosis.
Who will come of this?
Already feeling familiar pieces
falling away – cannot retrieve them
for there is no going back-
only surrender –
a radical submission,
to humility and a facile generosity
born from the remembrance
of our connectedness
and shared ancestry.

RED

Mixed emotions,
my relationship with Red
the color of
sensuality and menstruation-
of sin and punishment-
as I was taught.
Red did not hide-
neither docile nor shy.
Red, to me,
embodied extroversion-
loud and insufferable!
Beginning,
in the latter chapter of life,
to warm to Red some-
to appreciate her contours
and taste her complexity.
She’s beckoning me, Red
an invitation to finally
stand
firmly
in my Power.
It’s always been there,”
Red says.