Lack of attunement is what I am feeling acutely … a familiar feeling … is this the “norm” for a Life of The Unexpected? If it is, how do I navigate? With patience, with altruism, with totality, with anticipation, with simplicity, with authority, with humanity, with freshness, creativity, and the allowance for emergence, with integrity, with diplomacy – with all your innate gifts. In this Moment of agitation, unease, entropy – where do I lean? When you don’t know yet what to do, do nothing, be Still – isn’t that the message this whole year especially from Goddess Sige, who appeared multiple times to and for me? Not so easy, Silence/Stillness – why I consume and seek incessantly and rarely find…What have I found this year? What have I learned? How have I changed ingesting so much beauty-full richness? What has integrated? I don’t know yet … and will wait … be patience until called back into The Eternal Void … What is the invitation here and now? What am I to learn? What are the insights? Where am I deaf and blind? How to emerge from this victim consciousness? What is another story? An epiphany? The Quintessence? What is the practice of equality that bridges weakness to Tenderness? What is the resolve needed to transform exhaustion and the deep desire to just dis-appear to truly hear and live Divine Will? I don’t know yet …Stop seeking and find what? Peace? Community? Attunement? “Right” Livelihood? Home? Meaning? Abundance? Yes, to all please … Do I believe it to be true: all that is sought resides within? What’s inside of me? Who am I? Why am I here, now? I don’t know yet … When will I know for certain? Maybe upon the last breath.
humanity
Message Blocking is Active
blocked 🚫
mere months
after The Transition
of he who was The Force
keeping family afloat,
tethered,
ever so delicately.
without him,
shedding,
the masks came off,
niceties abandoned.
“Love” disintegrated
to the point of blocking 🚫
take nothing personally.
still, sad,
feels abrasive,
like a middle finger 🖕
borne of deep hurt
a sense of disrespect,
expectations unmet.
The Circle 🔵 dwindling
by death
and, now, blocks 🚫
everything
so tender,
tenuous,
ephemeral.
Gamma Waves
what will I see
flash before my eyes
as Spirit leaves this physical
encasement?
what memories are so seminal
on this Journey,
so seared in Consciousness
as to be worthy of recollection
before the last exhalation?
have I experienced
such moments
yet?
maybe the death of my father –
that wailing scene?
or sitting with my beloved
grandmother on her last days?
or memories of bliss-full times
spent alone
in The Woods
basking in The Magnificence
and Oneness 🙏?
maybe going way back
to before
departure from the womb,
crawling up to my mother’s Heart,
to what was known, safe, soothing.
maybe there’ll be images with my first Love,
hand in hand – touching, stroking, desperately reaching?
or my first trip abroad –
the fulfillment of my wildest dream?
no idea
what will flash
before my eyes
leaving this Realm.
doesn’t matter,
truly Grateful 🙏
for it all!
out of Sight, out of Heart
I forgot about you,
kidnapped
“living” underground
for years
amid “strangers” –
fellow humans
traumatized
traumatizing
using you
as mere means to a bitter end
playing a destructive game
of cat & mouse
in an endless cycle of
tit for tat.
I forgot about you
focused on the thousands
above ground
having their ground
children
lives
shattered to pieces
relentlessly
by the traumatized
traumatizing.
I could see them.
I couldn’t see you.
Out of sight,
Out of Heart,
I learned
about self –
humbled,
horrified,
human.
sacred work
what is the Sacred Work
I am to do
being
fully
here
now –
tired
grief-strickened
stunned
a tad numbed?
what can I offer
from “my” heArt
to “yours”?
the breath?
mere air?
yes, deep breathing
inhaling,
smelling
like the way of a baby,
taking It all
in and down
to the belly
to the Fire 🔥
hold It there
gently witness
trans-formation.
At the appointed time,
exhale
re-lease
birth
slowly
intentionally
Freshness
something new
something
needed
urgently
now!
This is what
I am
to do.
feeding the un-certainty
where does un-certainty
reside in me?
no clarity
here
now.
what color is it,
this tension of un-certainty ?
not sure.
perhaps, butterscotch,
a merging of orange with yellow,
maybe a clue?
the Sacral, to feel,
or solar plexus’ mandate to do?
to only feel
and not to do?
surrender
submerged
feel the body
trans-form
dis-solve
flow
like the sacral waters
re-lease this Soul.
self-inflicted
it did not have to be this way
a mass exodus of talent
years of institutional knowledge
drip by drip
drainage of vibrant energy
and future generations
all for what?
an obsession
single mindedness
without inspiration or
proper guidance
no true Leader
on this precarious ship
sailing blind
heading where?
how many more
go overboard
before the wake-up call?
The Current
The Current
came –
suddenly –
and took him away
from wife, young daughter,
family, aligned work,
and an adoring community.
“My apologies,” said The Current
whispering
gently
as The Soul left his body.
“You are to return Home –
now.
No tme
to say proper goodbyes,
to get affairs in perfect order,
to apologize.
This is your dharma,
your beautiful storyline
to come from water 💧
at the start of The Journey
and be taken back by water 💧
at the end.”
In memory of Malcolm-Jamal Warner 🙏💔
Beauty in The Bleakness
marveling at the resplendent Peacock 🦚
its extra-ordinary ability to in-gest
poison
and trans-form it into breathtaking, awe-inspiring Beauty.
reminds me of the Lotus 🪷
thriving in bleak
muddy waters 💧
ah, the lessons nature teaches
when we choose to slow down
listen intently,
look up & down & all around carefully,
really lean into
the Totality of Life,
this Moment,
each other.
opportunities abound everywhere
to trans-form the perceived mess and chaos
into gentle medicine for all;
into something vastly different than we’ve ever experienced –
more relevant, courageous, mature, and equitable.
there is unimaginable Beauty in this bleakness.
can you feel it?
contradictions
I don’t recall
ever
seeing your violent side.
To me, you were always
one-of-a-kind –
the cool,
tall,
dark & handsome uncle.
Never saw the part of you
who terrorized
your beautiful wife;
the you
who would beat
women
children
with a baseball bat!
Could I have loved you
if I had witnessed that?
Like Jekyll & Hyde,
we humans.
So many contradictions
and perplexing multitudes.
“Good” and “evil”
in equal measure
cutting through
all our hearts.
Are we to be confined
to the worst moments
of our lives?
We are made
crafted
molded
into who we become.
No innate monsters,
only beings
tragically un-done
wrecking havoc
in their altered state.
How do we be different –
infuse more love and tenderness;
choose significantly less violence,
champion wit and wisdom
instead of whips on children’s skin
and weapons of mass destruction?
burgeoninc 