Lack of attunement is what I am feeling acutely … a familiar feeling … is this the “norm” for a Life of The Unexpected? If it is, how do I navigate? With patience, with altruism, with totality, with anticipation, with simplicity, with authority, with humanity, with freshness, creativity, and the allowance for emergence, with integrity, with diplomacy – with all your innate gifts. In this Moment of agitation, unease, entropy – where do I lean? When you don’t know yet what to do, do nothing, be Still – isn’t that the message this whole year especially from Goddess Sige, who appeared multiple times to and for me? Not so easy, Silence/Stillness – why I consume and seek incessantly and rarely find…What have I found this year? What have I learned? How have I changed ingesting so much beauty-full richness? What has integrated? I don’t know yet … and will wait … be patience until called back into The Eternal Void … What is the invitation here and now? What am I to learn? What are the insights? Where am I deaf and blind? How to emerge from this victim consciousness? What is another story? An epiphany? The Quintessence? What is the practice of equality that bridges weakness to Tenderness? What is the resolve needed to transform exhaustion and the deep desire to just dis-appear to truly hear and live Divine Will? I don’t know yet …Stop seeking and find what? Peace? Community? Attunement? “Right” Livelihood? Home? Meaning? Abundance? Yes, to all please … Do I believe it to be true: all that is sought resides within? What’s inside of me? Who am I? Why am I here, now? I don’t know yet … When will I know for certain? Maybe upon the last breath.
intentional life
dreams
what is
a dream
come true
for me?
what lies
over the Rainbow?
don’t know.
is that wrong?
feels so –
like some thing
missing,
a crucial piece
of a puzzle
glaring
it its absence.
hidden away,
perhaps,
some where deep
in side
waiting
patiently
for the right time.
“live the questions”
Rilke advised.
one day,
you’ll bump into
their answers.
Message Blocking is Active
blocked 🚫
mere months
after The Transition
of he who was The Force
keeping family afloat,
tethered,
ever so delicately.
without him,
shedding,
the masks came off,
niceties abandoned.
“Love” disintegrated
to the point of blocking 🚫
take nothing personally.
still, sad,
feels abrasive,
like a middle finger 🖕
borne of deep hurt
a sense of disrespect,
expectations unmet.
The Circle 🔵 dwindling
by death
and, now, blocks 🚫
everything
so tender,
tenuous,
ephemeral.
One Week
Suddenly,
left eye
redness,
pain,
intense light sensitivity.
oh no, uveitis, again?
so soon?
sadness born of
a knowingness.
“I did this.”
relentlessly
disrespectfully
pushed and pushed,
ignored Body’s
implore
to stop,
subtract.
Then the dream
set in another time –
childhood.
garbage overflowing,
unattended
and yet,
still present.
a father
feeding a mother,
their daughter
holding space
for others.
The next day,
head slammed
into metal.
where?
right above
the healing
left eye!
did the brain move?
was some semblance
of sense knocked into
the head, a subtle
and much-needed,
shifting of consciousness?
A few days later:
morning, bore witness
to a wake of vultures
tearing into flesh.
evening, a searing ache
in the middle of the head,
eyes burning,
bedridden.
relief, only from
sleep –
stop,
subtract.
stay true
“You go deep,”
they said,
surprised.
“Yes!”
I replied.
They weren’t ready
for My Depth.
I stay true.
There is a they
waiting
for me.
Gamma Waves
what will I see
flash before my eyes
as Spirit leaves this physical
encasement?
what memories are so seminal
on this Journey,
so seared in Consciousness
as to be worthy of recollection
before the last exhalation?
have I experienced
such moments
yet?
maybe the death of my father –
that wailing scene?
or sitting with my beloved
grandmother on her last days?
or memories of bliss-full times
spent alone
in The Woods
basking in The Magnificence
and Oneness 🙏?
maybe going way back
to before
departure from the womb,
crawling up to my mother’s Heart,
to what was known, safe, soothing.
maybe there’ll be images with my first Love,
hand in hand – touching, stroking, desperately reaching?
or my first trip abroad –
the fulfillment of my wildest dream?
no idea
what will flash
before my eyes
leaving this Realm.
doesn’t matter,
truly Grateful 🙏
for it all!
sacred work
what is the Sacred Work
I am to do
being
fully
here
now –
tired
grief-strickened
stunned
a tad numbed?
what can I offer
from “my” heArt
to “yours”?
the breath?
mere air?
yes, deep breathing
inhaling,
smelling
like the way of a baby,
taking It all
in and down
to the belly
to the Fire 🔥
hold It there
gently witness
trans-formation.
At the appointed time,
exhale
re-lease
birth
slowly
intentionally
Freshness
something new
something
needed
urgently
now!
This is what
I am
to do.
feeding the un-certainty
where does un-certainty
reside in me?
no clarity
here
now.
what color is it,
this tension of un-certainty ?
not sure.
perhaps, butterscotch,
a merging of orange with yellow,
maybe a clue?
the Sacral, to feel,
or solar plexus’ mandate to do?
to only feel
and not to do?
surrender
submerged
feel the body
trans-form
dis-solve
flow
like the sacral waters
re-lease this Soul.
the wall of glass
an explosion!
a dismantling of perceived power,
a dramatic testament to impending change.
life cannot be contained,
controlled,
doled out in calculated bits
to a privileged few.
all this witnessed
through the wall of glass.
time ending for those over there –
the workers –
nearer to the raging Fire 🔥
and billowing towers of toxic smoke.
the possibility of extended time
and, perhaps, lessons,
for those over here,
a bit farther away –
the family of consumers
living in the house 🏠
with the wall of glass.
self-inflicted
it did not have to be this way
a mass exodus of talent
years of institutional knowledge
drip by drip
drainage of vibrant energy
and future generations
all for what?
an obsession
single mindedness
without inspiration or
proper guidance
no true Leader
on this precarious ship
sailing blind
heading where?
how many more
go overboard
before the wake-up call?
burgeoninc 