intentional life

human

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human, you are multitudes –
elegant in essence,
an imperishable scent
and eternal resonance.
malleable and unpredictable;
always
shifting and morphing;
at once,
growing and dying,
unfolding and numbing,
emerging and regressing,
ordinary and exceptional,
embryo and silo;
an assemblage, one and the same –
yet, each unique, many different names.

human, you are
mystical, whimsical
curious, mysterious
practical, laughable
horrible, beautiful
radiant, tarnished
emotional, rational
gifted, stupid
immensely generous
and abundantly selfish;
transcendent and resistant,
so richly nourished
and yet stunningly famished:
trickster and teenager,
sages and fools –
humans, you are all
multitudes.

humanity

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.
why are we
in such a hurry –
always –
to leave,
to fix,
to judge,
to eat,
to “live”?
.
what is the origin
of the discomfort
to truly lean in,
to listen,
to stay,
to sit,
to be Still
in commUnity?
.
Alas, the contradictions
of a splintered humanity –
we say we crave
companionship,
that we are
profoundly lonely,
yet we tend to
scatter soon after we Gather.
we seem to be able
to contain only so much
life,
love,
time,
energy,
words,
presence,
silence.
.
why?

We Fall Down

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I forget –

often –

just how much I am privileged

and blessed,

allowing The Darkness to rise

and My Light to then subside.

Ironically,

gratitude never ceases,

it remains steadfast,

knowing this resurrected Shadow shall too pass.

Surrendering,

I will remember:

we fall down,

become lost,

and are –

eventually –

re-found.

Letting go,

I slowly begin to dissolve

that desperate,

terribly frightened façade.

Breathing deeply

and in-tentionally,

re-leasing lineages of conditioning

and very old stories,

the tight knots

in heart and belly

begin to relax,

they unwind.

I return –

once again –

to some humble

Presence of mind.

Another Life: Dream One

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The next incarnation of Me,

I foresee

three darling babies

to whom

I am

doting, dutiful mommy.

Each said man-child

from my womb

shall come,

manifestations

of a long-held covenant

finally

exhumed.

 

In this other Life,

to an extraordinary Soul,

I will serve many roles:

His first lover,

babies’ mother,

forever friend and wife.

A beautiful home

together we build,

me and my boys,

filled with the Love and Light

we pray and persistently will-

cups so runneth over

that unto the world

our joy spills.

Monday

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It is Monday,

a blank page,

a clean slate.

The day to exfoliate,

slough off the old skin,

the things that weigh down

and only deaden.

It is Monday,

the start of a new week,

bringing with it

opportunities to seek

the Light and beauty

in all we meet.

It is Monday,

a day of reflection

to answer the questions

for self-manifestation.

We ponder in silence

asking our God for His Guidance.

My Lord,

what to sow?

who to know?

when to go?

where to grow?

why so slow?

It is Monday,

the time to do over

to try again

for that four-leaf clover.

Another chance

to alter one’s circumstance,

to self-enhance

and awake from long trance.

Penetration

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What does it take

to penetrate

the walls you make

for protection’s sake?

How do I get

to you

into you

through you?

What am I to do?

I come,

you run;

I confide,

you hide;

I offer space,

you then hesitate.

What does it take

to penetrate

your mind

your heart

your body

your soul?

How to release

some of that control

to which you hold

as if it is gold?

A body so tight,

a mind attuned to fight

or flight.

Yet, underneath,

I see a spirit

seeking an invite,

desperate for a way out.

When you are ready

to let me in,

to be the feminine

to my masculine,

I’ll come running.

When you are

no longer so scared,

I’ll be there.

When your mighty walls

finally

crumble and fall,

I offer myself

at our beck and call.

 

 

The Rainbow

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Caught a piece of the rainbow today.

When did such a sight

last come my way?

Cannot recall;

surely I must have been

quite small.

Just as a child,

I now stared wide-eyed

at the pronounced colors

against the stark gray

of the moist sky.

My wonderment I could not disguise!

What a sight:

The Light, One Love

splitting into its many shades above.

So mystical,

the rainbow;

Magical, this great spectacle;

A harbinger of a brighter future.

Eleven Years

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On the sixth day in the month of September of the year 2005:

A cell phone rings.

“It is your father,”

says the somber mother

to the busy daughter.

“He has been taken

to hospital…a stroke.”

 

Eleven years ago,

my Pop transitioned;

he left body

and went to Heaven.

One is never prepared for death-

especially that of a parent.

You know it will come eventually,

makes sense intellectually;

a matter to run from emotionally.

The day before he was to die,

he kept calling my cell line.

Over and over, he tried.

too tired and busy was I.

“I’ll call him tomorrow,”

I thought, fully justified;

not knowing he would not then

be alive.

Did Pop sense

his time had come?

Is there something he needed to tell

his eldest one?

What did I miss in

missing his call?

Did he go

thinking

I cared not at all?

Along with grief,

from guilt I found little relief.

Over and over,

in my mind,

I wrestled with my use of time.

Questioned my responsibilities:

Were they aligned with my priorities?

Eleven years later,

older,

a tad wiser,

I can begin

to myself forgive.

We do our best

in the moments we live.

Perfection, not the final goal.

Missteps, falls –

a part of it all.

Lessons learned

in his life and death-

Thank you Father!

No more regrets.

 

 

 

Blue

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what you say about Blue

is really a reflection of you.

what you think about her,

a mere child, another’s daughter,

only reveals

your mind’s fodder.

it’s all about you,

Beloved,

never “the other.”

about the lens

through which

you see

your world

and your brother.

look deep within,

my Friend,

see finally

the depths of

your own self-hatred.

bring up to Light,

the memories,

tragedies,

stories

against which

you constantly

struggle and fight.

the ones that state softly

with great malignancy

only that

you’re ugly and unworthy.

beware,

going there.

for, ego will be scared.

it will deny,

try to you from yourself hide,

play with your mind,

saying:

“don’t go within,

too much of a burden;

play always on the outside to win.”

alas,

illusion, so easy,

often trumps reality

for many.

brothers, sisters, family –

we must re-member what we truly are:

Shining Stars,

servant spirits on a human journey

born of Him

to fully manifest

only our highest

and very best

Self.

Nothing else.