i am tired, Lord.
hold on.
hold on for what?
for Me.
i don’t know that i can…
you can; you have.
i am tired, Lord.
I know; hold on.
intentional life
humanity
.
why are we
in such a hurry –
always –
to leave,
to fix,
to judge,
to eat,
to “live”?
.
what is the origin
of the discomfort
to truly lean in,
to listen,
to stay,
to sit,
to be Still
in commUnity?
.
Alas, the contradictions
of a splintered humanity –
we say we crave
companionship,
that we are
profoundly lonely,
yet we tend to
scatter soon after we Gather.
we seem to be able
to contain only so much
life,
love,
time,
energy,
words,
presence,
silence.
.
why?
We Fall Down
I forget –
often –
just how much I am privileged
and blessed,
allowing The Darkness to rise
and My Light to then subside.
Ironically,
gratitude never ceases,
it remains steadfast,
knowing this resurrected Shadow shall too pass.
Surrendering,
I will remember:
we fall down,
become lost,
and are –
eventually –
re-found.
Letting go,
I slowly begin to dissolve
that desperate,
terribly frightened façade.
Breathing deeply
and in-tentionally,
re-leasing lineages of conditioning
and very old stories,
the tight knots
in heart and belly
begin to relax,
they unwind.
I return –
once again –
to some humble
Presence of mind.
Another Life: Dream One
The next incarnation of Me,
I foresee
three darling babies
to whom
I am
doting, dutiful mommy.
Each said man-child
from my womb
shall come,
manifestations
of a long-held covenant
finally
exhumed.
In this other Life,
to an extraordinary Soul,
I will serve many roles:
His first lover,
babies’ mother,
forever friend and wife.
A beautiful home
together we build,
me and my boys,
filled with the Love and Light
we pray and persistently will-
cups so runneth over
that unto the world
our joy spills.
Monday
It is Monday,
a blank page,
a clean slate.
The day to exfoliate,
slough off the old skin,
the things that weigh down
and only deaden.
It is Monday,
the start of a new week,
bringing with it
opportunities to seek
the Light and beauty
in all we meet.
It is Monday,
a day of reflection
to answer the questions
for self-manifestation.
We ponder in silence
asking our God for His Guidance.
My Lord,
what to sow?
who to know?
when to go?
where to grow?
why so slow?
It is Monday,
the time to do over
to try again
for that four-leaf clover.
Another chance
to alter one’s circumstance,
to self-enhance
and awake from long trance.
Penetration
What does it take
to penetrate
the walls you make
for protection’s sake?
How do I get
to you
into you
through you?
What am I to do?
I come,
you run;
I confide,
you hide;
I offer space,
you then hesitate.
What does it take
to penetrate
your mind
your heart
your body
your soul?
How to release
some of that control
to which you hold
as if it is gold?
A body so tight,
a mind attuned to fight
or flight.
Yet, underneath,
I see a spirit
seeking an invite,
desperate for a way out.
When you are ready
to let me in,
to be the feminine
to my masculine,
I’ll come running.
When you are
no longer so scared,
I’ll be there.
When your mighty walls
finally
crumble and fall,
I offer myself
at our beck and call.
The Rainbow
Caught a piece of the rainbow today.
When did such a sight
last come my way?
Cannot recall;
surely I must have been
quite small.
Just as a child,
I now stared wide-eyed
at the pronounced colors
against the stark gray
of the moist sky.
My wonderment I could not disguise!
What a sight:
The Light, One Love
splitting into its many shades above.
So mystical,
the rainbow;
Magical, this great spectacle;
A harbinger of a brighter future.
Eleven Years
On the sixth day in the month of September of the year 2005:
A cell phone rings.
“It is your father,”
says the somber mother
to the busy daughter.
“He has been taken
to hospital…a stroke.”
Eleven years ago,
my Pop transitioned;
he left body
and went to Heaven.
One is never prepared for death-
especially that of a parent.
You know it will come eventually,
makes sense intellectually;
a matter to run from emotionally.
The day before he was to die,
he kept calling my cell line.
Over and over, he tried.
too tired and busy was I.
“I’ll call him tomorrow,”
I thought, fully justified;
not knowing he would not then
be alive.
Did Pop sense
his time had come?
Is there something he needed to tell
his eldest one?
What did I miss in
missing his call?
Did he go
thinking
I cared not at all?
Along with grief,
from guilt I found little relief.
Over and over,
in my mind,
I wrestled with my use of time.
Questioned my responsibilities:
Were they aligned with my priorities?
Eleven years later,
older,
a tad wiser,
I can begin
to myself forgive.
We do our best
in the moments we live.
Perfection, not the final goal.
Missteps, falls –
a part of it all.
Lessons learned
in his life and death-
Thank you Father!
No more regrets.
Blue
what you say about Blue
is really a reflection of you.
what you think about her,
a mere child, another’s daughter,
only reveals
your mind’s fodder.
it’s all about you,
Beloved,
never “the other.”
about the lens
through which
you see
your world
and your brother.
look deep within,
my Friend,
see finally
the depths of
your own self-hatred.
bring up to Light,
the memories,
tragedies,
stories
against which
you constantly
struggle and fight.
the ones that state softly
with great malignancy
only that
you’re ugly and unworthy.
beware,
going there.
for, ego will be scared.
it will deny,
try to you from yourself hide,
play with your mind,
saying:
“don’t go within,
too much of a burden;
play always on the outside to win.”
alas,
illusion, so easy,
often trumps reality
for many.
brothers, sisters, family –
we must re-member what we truly are:
Shining Stars,
servant spirits on a human journey
born of Him
to fully manifest
only our highest
and very best
Self.
Nothing else.
Au Cœur
Walking around
the City streets,
this piece of graffiti
I repeatedly meet.
It reads
to me:
Protect your Heart.
“Why?”
I wonder.
“Is such a thing
even possible?”
I ponder.
Is not
The Heart
meant
to be used,
broken open
and well spent?
Le Cœur,
it will never relent,
nor exhibit
sustained discontent,
doing that
for which
it was sent.
The grand design,
the clear intent
for us to be truly,
in life, content.
Strong and resilient,
The Heart,
also very smart,
crafted this way
from the very start.
Unlike a piece
of rare fine art,
The Heart
is not made
to be placed
on a wall
deemed too delicate
to fall.
No, no, no, no, no!
Not at all!
I contend
to me and friends:
Lay bare,
Le Cœur,
even as scared,
it’ll take you there,
that place,
that divine space
where only
COURage makes.
burgeoninc 