some times
i get hungry,
typically late
at night,
just before
i am supposed to be
in bed.
the hunger comes –
an unease in the pit
of my gut.
the mouth follows
with a desperate urge for…
what
exactly?
don’t want to go deep
now.
and so i reach
for the sourdough bread,
carefully peeling its edges,
nibbling,
satiated.
any pieces beneath the crust –
whoa…intense!
it feels way too much!
we fall down
and we get up
we fall asleep
and we wake up
back and forth
up and down
the spectrum of consciousness
we go
round and round
the cycle of unwellness
until
sometimes quite suddenly
a shift
from deep Within
Grace
a gentle beckoning
to another
completely different
way
she teaches me –
my Little Niece–
a Guru from the day we met –
months into a pandemic.
she taught me
then
the feel of unadulterated Love –
startling in its immediacy and potentcy!
she continues to exemplify
curiosity and Surrendered play.
Innocence demands cultivating
patience and acceptance;
necessitates
being
there
fully
now
in Its Presence.
Innocence is exquisitely perceptive –
cannot hide for long
behind the “adult” masks.
she humbles me,
de-constructs me,
my Little Niece.
forever grateful 🙏
forever changed 🙏
afraid
to be
to speak
Me.
default
to please
all
to swallow
poisons
to smile
though the Heart
aches.
where Love
for Self
has not yet
matured
lack of
enoughness
takes root
bringing
constant recrimination
guilt
angst
such heaviness.
in this vast wilderness
Hope
a tiny Voice
a faint Light
stirrings
of an innate
Self-Regard 🙏
I am
a Heart person.
I see Hearts
every where –
be they
readily apparent
or visible
only
to me.
I see Hearts
that are open and soft;
some Hearts,
jagged and tender,
barely holding on.
other Hearts,
strong and courageous
beating steadily
through it all.
It is The Heart
that grounds me,
its soothing rhythm I sought
in a turbulent womb –
not ready to leave
much too soon!
forced down,
I crawled up
clung
desperately
to her pounding Heart.
reel in
my feelings?
no!
been there,
done that.
lost a seminal piece
of my femininity.
then, a new body.
we do not return
as we came.
bits of us fall away
over time.
we give them away
unconsciously
desperate
to simply
hold
on.
don’t feel like
what I was
then
just yesterday.
body feels looser,
more spacious.
mind,
lighter
a little less judgment
and constriction.
heart
beats slower,
breaks faster,
heals
spontaneously.
all of me
stretching,
breaking agreements
defying parameters
that no longer fit.
maturity
settling in,
eldership,
dusk.
.
🙏🥰
.
for the Lovers
of humanity,
hold on
do not give in
to the prevailing
cynicism
and seeming
turbulence.
recall
the innate innocence
of each being
before, alas,
the inevitable
deep conditioning.
remember
the capacity
to awaken and heal –
sometimes instantaneously.
no one
is irredeemable.
the seed of Grace
lives within all.
.
been thinking
and talking
about death
more
lately
within community
and in Solitude.
wondering
about
the expiration date
for this present
embodiment.
perhaps,
the prompt
for this contemplation
is an impending
“birth” day –
completion of
one cycle,
the beginning of another.
no guarantee
of continuing.
we feel compelled
to vet one
and trust The Other.
One deemed inherently worthy,
the other, a mere token.
One life matters,
the other, disposal.
one Group succeeded
by dint of Its own bootstraps,
the other perceived as a perennial burden.
we speak of equity
and behave much differently.
privilege is blind
as justice was supposed to be.
.
🙏
.
burgeoninc 