blocked 🚫
mere months
after The Transition
of he who was The Force
keeping family afloat,
tethered,
ever so delicately.
without him,
shedding,
the masks came off,
niceties abandoned.
“Love” disintegrated
to the point of blocking 🚫
take nothing personally.
still, sad,
feels abrasive,
like a middle finger 🖕
borne of deep hurt
a sense of disrespect,
expectations unmet.
The Circle 🔵 dwindling
by death
and, now, blocks 🚫
everything
so tender,
tenuous,
ephemeral.
what is the Sacred Work
I am to do
being
fully
here
now –
tired
grief-strickened
stunned
a tad numbed?
what can I offer
from “my” heArt
to “yours”?
the breath?
mere air?
yes, deep breathing
inhaling,
smelling
like the way of a baby,
taking It all
in and down
to the belly
to the Fire 🔥
hold It there
gently witness
trans-formation.
At the appointed time,
exhale
re-lease
birth
slowly
intentionally
Freshness
something new
something
needed
urgently
now!
This is what
I am
to do.
where does un-certainty
reside in me?
no clarity
here
now.
what color is it,
this tension of un-certainty ?
not sure.
perhaps, butterscotch,
a merging of orange with yellow,
maybe a clue?
the Sacral, to feel,
or solar plexus’ mandate to do?
to only feel
and not to do?
surrender
submerged
feel the body
trans-form
dis-solve
flow
like the sacral waters
re-lease this Soul.
Still-ness
is quiet
and slow;
a Mountain top
in lieu of
the marketplace;
blessed Solitude
chosen over
the complexities
of company.
Still-ness
is the Moon’s femininity
relative to
the Sun‘s great fiery 🔥
may we Be Stll
to know
to then act
from Heart 🙏
she teaches me –
my Little Niece–
a Guru from the day we met –
months into a pandemic.
she taught me
then
the feel of unadulterated Love –
startling in its immediacy and potentcy!
she continues to exemplify
curiosity and Surrendered play.
Innocence demands cultivating
patience and acceptance;
necessitates
being
there
fully
now
in Its Presence.
Innocence is exquisitely perceptive –
cannot hide for long
behind the “adult” masks.
she humbles me,
de-constructs me,
my Little Niece.
forever grateful 🙏
forever changed 🙏
“I am your husband,”
said The Mother
to The Daughter.
Not entirely an untruth,
as Mother dwells in household
with her eldest Daughter.
They share expenses
and secrets.
They are each other’s “somebody”
the unspoken priority,
the new nuclear family,
the what remains
when what was The Core
splinters off
never to return.
The Stunning Presence
you see,
that is The Illumination of Benevolence.
The Eloquence
you perceive,
that is The Expression of Benevolence.
The Care
you feel,
those are The Hands of Benevolence 🙏
Empty vessels, we can be
when we surrender –
completely –
to Benevolence’s Will.
Then we consider
everyone, all beings
no thing left behind –
abandoned
forsaken.
nineteen years
since you transitioned
to The Other Realms
no father, no more
like yesterday
when you left
in the arms of the woman you Love
on the bed of your and hers first born
a massive stroke
quickly
dramatically
graciously
commenced your way back Home
your Heart the last to go
fittingly
as It defined you
and, hence, me,
your namesake
thank you
for coming to me
in dream
recently
a rare occurrence
so cherished 🙏
you are missed
here
your Presence still felt
here
there really is no ending
simply a change to the scenery
afraid
to be
to speak
Me.
default
to please
all
to swallow
poisons
to smile
though the Heart
aches.
where Love
for Self
has not yet
matured
lack of
enoughness
takes root
bringing
constant recrimination
guilt
angst
such heaviness.
in this vast wilderness
Hope
a tiny Voice
a faint Light
stirrings
of an innate
Self-Regard 🙏
I am
a Heart person.
I see Hearts
every where –
be they
readily apparent
or visible
only
to me.
I see Hearts
that are open and soft;
some Hearts,
jagged and tender,
barely holding on.
other Hearts,
strong and courageous
beating steadily
through it all.
It is The Heart
that grounds me,
its soothing rhythm I sought
in a turbulent womb –
not ready to leave
much too soon!
forced down,
I crawled up
clung
desperately
to her pounding Heart.
burgeoninc 