prayer: nearer to Thee

Lord,

I beseech you (yet again)

tell me

guide me

loudly and very clearly (please)

As to what I am

to do

to be

so that I may proceed

newly focused and accordingly.

At times, My Lord,

I grow so weary,

burdened with existential angst

and near constant worry,

not feeling remotely worthy.

Just

alone,

lonely,

needy,

profoundly empty.

From here,

nowhere to go nor to be,

only to draw

ever nearer and nearer to

Thee.

genius: part 1

“When nature has work to be done, she creates a genius to do it.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

The presumption being then that when “the work” has been done to satisfaction, Nature calls genius back home: “Your work down here is complete; you’ve fulfilled your purpose. On to the next.”

In my mind and heart, this is what transpired in the case of our dearly beloved and departed Prince. Nature so stunningly and (in the moment) inexplicably ceasing him back to Her bosom, shook something deep inside of me that continues to tremble and uncomfortably shift.

I’m feeling unmoored, disoriented – not quite certain why. What exactly is going on within? As I cannot articulate it with any real coherence – just a thick mixture of sadness, dread, fear, confusion – I desperately seek both answers and comfort by delving ever deeper into The Artist’s life and music. It’s bordering frighteningly on the obsessive, this I know! Yet, I cannot turn away – it is an internal draw beyond my conscious control at the Moment. Truly I tell you, resistance is futile. So, I reluctantly relent – too tired and enthralled to do otherwise.

In an interview, Prince astutely observed that any interest in him beyond his music speaks to a lacking/a need in another – nothing to do with him. He is absolutely correct; to that I can wholeheartedly attest.

My sojourn into the Purple Rain continues to yield much and rich fruit. Presently, I am ruminating on the concept of “genius” – a word that is synonymous with Prince. Very few would dare argue otherwise – nor could do so convincingly.

Yes, Prince was a genius; he embodied it in a way that is breathtaking and astonishes, this he knew from early on until the end/beginning (how could he not?) Nature wanted to fill its world with music and showmanship not since seen or experienced and – poof – Prince Rogers Nelson was created for such a time as that. It took only 57 years for Nature’s work to be done through that relatively small human vessel- exemplifying just how bright and blindingly brilliant Prince’s Light shined, how singularly focused he was on his work, mission, purpose.

As my insides churn with envy and profound inadequacy (comparing and despairing), a little voice, whimpering and seeking some solace, whispers: “Is genius/an entity, a creation such as a Prince the exception or the rule?” This voice is challenging me to step back a little from the haze and explore further: Is genius exceptional, elitist, reserved just for some, a very select few or is it a tad more generous and democratic in its form(s)? Hope for me comes with a belief in the latter. Perhaps, this explains the inexplicable pull I’ve been feeling into the Purple Rain – the message I desperately need to hear repeatedly, grasp, own, and, ultimately, share – the work/message that genius in the form formerly known as Prince was really placed on this Earth to do/deliver.

I am reminded of these words uttered by genius currently in the form know as Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world …We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Heartfelt many thanks for the coming liberation my dearly beloved Prince!

 

 

out of service

I am

out

of

service.

No longer will I do only as told;

I will, instead, endeavor in all ways to be Bold.

No longer will I relent to your perspective on what is deemed art;

I will, instead, succumb only to the rhythm and vision of my own Heart.

No longer will I heed passively to what feels and sounds to me utterly absurd;

I will, instead, be Heard and not part of the herd.

No longer will I merely accept what is;

I will, instead, search, dig deep and extract from within for without what is authentically His.

Your definition of “success” I will choose to categorically reject;

For, you see, I am

now and forever more

out

of

your

service.

the Beauty you Love

Let the beauty you love be what you do…” 

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love…”

These two quotes count among the many beautiful words of great wisdom that I love from Rumi. As is always the case when I spend time engulfed in Rumi, everything stops and I am still at last. From this exquisite place, I can go deep into whom and what I really am. I can see clearly. I can breathe again. I can remember all that I find beautiful in our world – that which deeply resonates in me, draws me in, calls to me, sings to me, completely disarms me, beckons me, enchants me, embraces me, calms me, frees me, feeds me, lifts me, loves me.

Plato observed that “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.”

Pondering the beauty that my eyes behold, I come to see that which I find beautiful is what I really love; that which I truly and effortlessly love is what I find beautiful.  It does not seem possible to not love that which one finds beautiful or to love that which one does not find beautiful. Beauty and love are inextricable – linked down to our very Soul.

At the level of the Soul, reason has no place. Hence, explaining “…the strange pull of what you really love…” Within your Soul, there is only surrender and trust to the true Self. Here, no questions are allowed or asked; there are no doubts, only pure and unadulterated Truth. The Soul is where who you really are resides – straight no chaser, no filters, no mask, no shame, and no fear. In this quiet, fertile and vulnerable space, beauty and the love it elicits are all that matter and you are invited to lean in and be informed by the beauty you love. 

I shiver with joy at the thought of what our world could be if we all had the courage to heed the Soul’s call, longing and invitation to let the beauty we really love (that which draws and pulls us) be what we do, what we offer to each other. So says Rumi: “There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth.”

Barbara’s Word Game – Volume One

There are Souls who enter one’s life and one just knows from the very deepest level within that this Soul is here to stay forever with you and in you. My Soul Sister, Barbara G, is such a Soul for me. She has helped to mold me in a way very few others in my life have done. I am eternally and deeply grateful to and for her.

My beloved Barbara is bed-ridden as her journey this time included Multiple Sclerosis. She often asks herself – as do “able-bodied” I: why am I still here, alive in this world in this body? In one of her many superb poems, the answer that came to her:

“As long as the Mind can work, we’re still here.”

One of the ways that Barbara keeps her brilliant mind sharp and agile is through a deceptively simple word game that she lovingly taught me – one I fell quickly and crazy in love with! One I am going to share here, and will – I strongly suspect – then leverage as I (finally) birth my raison d’être into our world (stay tuned).

With this game, when in solitude, Barbara challenges herself to find only a  positive and energetically empowering word or words for each letter in the English alphabet. 

What follows is a taste of what our two Minds conjured up one magical evening in her home when we played this game together. Let me know what you think, and please join us in playing Barbara’s Word Game and spreading the positive!

A is for authentic

B is for beautiful (you’re beautiful, it’s true…)

C is for conscious

D is for The Divine in us all

E is for enlightened

F is for fertile

G is for grateful

H is for healing

I is for intuitive

J is for joyous

K is for kindness

L is for L-o-v-e

M is for magnanimous

N is for natural

O is for open

P is for pleasure

Q is for quiet

R is for resilience

S is for sexy 

T is for tenacious

U is for uplifting

V is for vivacious

W is for wisdom

X is for xylophone (the happy instrument!)

Y is for yes!

Z is for zest

 

 

An intentional Life: A Mid-Year Review

Today, Tuesday 1 July,  marks 2014’s halfway point – a milestone, a time to slow down a bit and reflect: where and who have I been these past six month and where am I intentionally and consciously going in the next six months. So, here goes…

The first half of the year was all about others – my family and my work. Two big events defined the first six month of 2014: my sister’s wedding and a fundraising gala for work. It was quite a juggling act as both demanded so very much of me and, in turn, I was driven to give so much of myself – as is my wont, I tend to delve in with heart, mind, body and Soul. Both events were (by God’s Grace) smashing successes. Yay! The price to me (a confirmed – and proud – introvert): I enter the second half of 2014, utterly exhausted in heart, mind, body and Soul.

Thus, the second half of the year will be – really, it has to be – predominantly about Me! In the midst of the busyness that 2014: chapter one presented, I quietly celebrated the (seemingly sudden) coming of age 45! I have reached the midpoint of my life! Whoa! Where am I going? Who do I wish to be? My words of guidance for 2014 are receptivity and decisiveness. I decisively declare 2014 to be The Year of receiving Boundless Miracles. This requires presence, my full attention to what is transpiring internally and the resultant external cues. I need to be in the here now. The second half of the year is less about others and more about me, so that I can then present/offer my very best Me to the World. That is the intention and the goal. So, it is written, so it will be done.Image