how do I
adequately
describe
what it feels like
inside
when I look
elephant
in the eyes?
It is as if
elephant
is kin,
as if we share
the
exact
same
skin!
My heart flutters,
a sudden
recognition
it utters
at the
sight of
elephant.
My Soul leaps
as it greets
an essential piece
long buried-
very deep.
A sigh of relief;
the end of a subtle grief;
a mystical reunion
is of what I speak
when
elephant
and I
meet.
Have never traveled a straight line,
couldn’t even draw one if I tried.
This life was crafted
crooked and jagged.
No point A neatly to a point B;
more like A to C
then up to Z
and suddenly,
back down
to B.
A dance of seeming spontaneity
created by chosen opportunity.
A restless Soul,
too many interests it holds;
relentlessly driven
to learn, grow and sow;
chasing adventure
so as
for itself
to know.
No desire to live vicariously,
in putting off pleasure
in the name of responsibility.
No, that ain’t me!
I yearn to fly,
to be free,
to self-express fully
with utmost authenticity.
Such a Soul as this
can never happily exist
confined
for a lifetime
within walls
narrow
straight
and tall.
Such an existence
much too small,
into The Abyss,
said Soul
would soon fall.
…a small still voice
inside
whispers
delicately and definitively
stand up,
Rise.
The worst is over.
Like the Phoenix
from the smoldering ashes
you are meant
to again
spread your wings,
Fly.
For unto the world,
your gifts to bring;
God’s Light to shine;
and of only One Love
to all
re-mind.
What does it take
to be A Light in the World,
to accept the sacred invitation
to truly make flesh The Word?
A sprawling, often lonely,
task
that will inevitably
ask
the removal of all human
masks.
There’s no hiding,
only faithfully abiding;
Seeing the world
differently;
expanding consciousness to foreign
possibilities,
such as loving all brothers
unconditionally.
One will need to forgive,
to always relieve grievances.
No space for judgment and blame,
for pettiness and thoughts criminally insane.
Only the remembrance that we are all
fundamentally
the same.
A formidable call
to be A Light in The World,
to sow seeds of peace
in the Minds of the All.
Not for the faint-hearted, this role.
Indeed, many flounder and fall,
the ones who think themselves insignificant
and very small,
who know not how
to stand erect and tall.
Much is given to A Light in the World.
This path, once chosen,
one does not walk alone.
Vision, wisdom and extraordinary might,
all bequeathed to A Light,
all needed to keep up the human fight
that rages
within and without
day and night.
A Light
ultimately
returns home, to Love
remembers its function
is guided
only
by things holy and Above.
The next incarnation of Me,
I foresee
three darling babies
to whom
I am
doting, dutiful mommy.
Each said man-child
from my womb
shall come,
manifestations
of a long-held covenant
finally
exhumed.
In this other Life,
to an extraordinary Soul,
I will serve many roles:
His first lover,
babies’ mother,
forever friend and wife.
A beautiful home
together we build,
me and my boys,
filled with the Love and Light
we pray and persistently will-
cups so runneth over
that unto the world
our joy spills.
What does it take
to penetrate
the walls you make
for protection’s sake?
How do I get
to you
into you
through you?
What am I to do?
I come,
you run;
I confide,
you hide;
I offer space,
you then hesitate.
What does it take
to penetrate
your mind
your heart
your body
your soul?
How to release
some of that control
to which you hold
as if it is gold?
A body so tight,
a mind attuned to fight
or flight.
Yet, underneath,
I see a spirit
seeking an invite,
desperate for a way out.
When you are ready
to let me in,
to be the feminine
to my masculine,
I’ll come running.
When you are
no longer so scared,
I’ll be there.
When your mighty walls
finally
crumble and fall,
I offer myself
at our beck and call.
A new treat,
this here, Stone Beach.
Butterflies,
Dragonflies.
With a gentle sweet high,
I am kissing
the brilliant
baby blue sky.
Seagulls,
Marigolds.
I am embraced by the sea’s
gentle pull.
Driftwood,
Seashells.
I fall deeply into
water’s seductive spell.
Inhaling deeply,
I take in the air’s
musky salinity,
mix it with Earth’s grassy femininity.
Senses heightened,
I hear the waves,
my ancestors guiding me
from the grave.
I feel the wind
nibble my skin,
tempering
the sun’s bite and sting.
A Spirit
to me
suddenly
begins to sing.
Inspiration heralding
the birth of another offspring.
On the sixth day in the month of September of the year 2005:
A cell phone rings.
“It is your father,”
says the somber mother
to the busy daughter.
“He has been taken
to hospital…a stroke.”
Eleven years ago,
my Pop transitioned;
he left body
and went to Heaven.
One is never prepared for death-
especially that of a parent.
You know it will come eventually,
makes sense intellectually;
a matter to run from emotionally.
The day before he was to die,
he kept calling my cell line.
Over and over, he tried.
too tired and busy was I.
“I’ll call him tomorrow,”
I thought, fully justified;
not knowing he would not then
be alive.
Did Pop sense
his time had come?
Is there something he needed to tell
his eldest one?
What did I miss in
missing his call?
Did he go
thinking
I cared not at all?
Along with grief,
from guilt I found little relief.
Over and over,
in my mind,
I wrestled with my use of time.
Questioned my responsibilities:
Were they aligned with my priorities?
Eleven years later,
older,
a tad wiser,
I can begin
to myself forgive.
We do our best
in the moments we live.
Perfection, not the final goal.
Missteps, falls –
a part of it all.
Lessons learned
in his life and death-
Thank you Father!
No more regrets.
what you say about Blue
is really a reflection of you.
what you think about her,
a mere child, another’s daughter,
only reveals
your mind’s fodder.
it’s all about you,
Beloved,
never “the other.”
about the lens
through which
you see
your world
and your brother.
look deep within,
my Friend,
see finally
the depths of
your own self-hatred.
bring up to Light,
the memories,
tragedies,
stories
against which
you constantly
struggle and fight.
the ones that state softly
with great malignancy
only that
you’re ugly and unworthy.
beware,
going there.
for, ego will be scared.
it will deny,
try to you from yourself hide,
play with your mind,
saying:
“don’t go within,
too much of a burden;
play always on the outside to win.”
alas,
illusion, so easy,
often trumps reality
for many.
brothers, sisters, family –
we must re-member what we truly are:
Shining Stars,
servant spirits on a human journey
born of Him
to fully manifest
only our highest
and very best
Self.
Nothing else.
Walking around
the City streets,
this piece of graffiti
I repeatedly meet.
It reads
to me:
Protect your Heart.
“Why?”
I wonder.
“Is such a thing
even possible?”
I ponder.
Is not
The Heart
meant
to be used,
broken open
and well spent?
Le Cœur,
it will never relent,
nor exhibit
sustained discontent,
doing that
for which
it was sent.
The grand design,
the clear intent
for us to be truly,
in life, content.
Strong and resilient,
The Heart,
also very smart,
crafted this way
from the very start.
Unlike a piece
of rare fine art,
The Heart
is not made
to be placed
on a wall
deemed too delicate
to fall.
No, no, no, no, no!
Not at all!
I contend
to me and friends:
Lay bare,
Le Cœur,
even as scared,
it’ll take you there,
that place,
that divine space
where only
COURage makes.
burgeoninc 