Lack of attunement is what I am feeling acutely … a familiar feeling … is this the “norm” for a Life of The Unexpected? If it is, how do I navigate? With patience, with altruism, with totality, with anticipation, with simplicity, with authority, with humanity, with freshness, creativity, and the allowance for emergence, with integrity, with diplomacy – with all your innate gifts. In this Moment of agitation, unease, entropy – where do I lean? When you don’t know yet what to do, do nothing, be Still – isn’t that the message this whole year especially from Goddess Sige, who appeared multiple times to and for me? Not so easy, Silence/Stillness – why I consume and seek incessantly and rarely find…What have I found this year? What have I learned? How have I changed ingesting so much beauty-full richness? What has integrated? I don’t know yet … and will wait … be patience until called back into The Eternal Void … What is the invitation here and now? What am I to learn? What are the insights? Where am I deaf and blind? How to emerge from this victim consciousness? What is another story? An epiphany? The Quintessence? What is the practice of equality that bridges weakness to Tenderness? What is the resolve needed to transform exhaustion and the deep desire to just dis-appear to truly hear and live Divine Will? I don’t know yet …Stop seeking and find what? Peace? Community? Attunement? “Right” Livelihood? Home? Meaning? Abundance? Yes, to all please … Do I believe it to be true: all that is sought resides within? What’s inside of me? Who am I? Why am I here, now? I don’t know yet … When will I know for certain? Maybe upon the last breath.
spirituality
dreams
what is
a dream
come true
for me?
what lies
over the Rainbow?
don’t know.
is that wrong?
feels so –
like some thing
missing,
a crucial piece
of a puzzle
glaring
it its absence.
hidden away,
perhaps,
some where deep
in side
waiting
patiently
for the right time.
“live the questions”
Rilke advised.
one day,
you’ll bump into
their answers.
One Week
Suddenly,
left eye
redness,
pain,
intense light sensitivity.
oh no, uveitis, again?
so soon?
sadness born of
a knowingness.
“I did this.”
relentlessly
disrespectfully
pushed and pushed,
ignored Body’s
implore
to stop,
subtract.
Then the dream
set in another time –
childhood.
garbage overflowing,
unattended
and yet,
still present.
a father
feeding a mother,
their daughter
holding space
for others.
The next day,
head slammed
into metal.
where?
right above
the healing
left eye!
did the brain move?
was some semblance
of sense knocked into
the head, a subtle
and much-needed,
shifting of consciousness?
A few days later:
morning, bore witness
to a wake of vultures
tearing into flesh.
evening, a searing ache
in the middle of the head,
eyes burning,
bedridden.
relief, only from
sleep –
stop,
subtract.
stay true
“You go deep,”
they said,
surprised.
“Yes!”
I replied.
They weren’t ready
for My Depth.
I stay true.
There is a they
waiting
for me.
Gamma Waves
what will I see
flash before my eyes
as Spirit leaves this physical
encasement?
what memories are so seminal
on this Journey,
so seared in Consciousness
as to be worthy of recollection
before the last exhalation?
have I experienced
such moments
yet?
maybe the death of my father –
that wailing scene?
or sitting with my beloved
grandmother on her last days?
or memories of bliss-full times
spent alone
in The Woods
basking in The Magnificence
and Oneness 🙏?
maybe going way back
to before
departure from the womb,
crawling up to my mother’s Heart,
to what was known, safe, soothing.
maybe there’ll be images with my first Love,
hand in hand – touching, stroking, desperately reaching?
or my first trip abroad –
the fulfillment of my wildest dream?
no idea
what will flash
before my eyes
leaving this Realm.
doesn’t matter,
truly Grateful 🙏
for it all!
True Peace
can there be
True Peace
where there is
no re-pair
after harms
and ruptures,
no amends made,
no truths expressed
nor apologies extended
for sustained reconciliation?
this feels like
seeds being sowed
that may
ultimately reap
more violence
more trauma
more broken 💔 ness
more hatred and
sense-less destruction.
can there ever be
True Peace
where The Feminine voice
is left out,
where Love has been
forgotten
and diplomacy severely
abandoned,
where toxic masculinity
reigns
and unbridled arrogance
pats itself on the back?
how to cultivate
True Peace
in the midst of blatant
inequality,
where tenderness
and care
are nowhere
and domination
is centered?
do we even know what
True Peace
is
any longer?
have we ever?
sacred work
what is the Sacred Work
I am to do
being
fully
here
now –
tired
grief-strickened
stunned
a tad numbed?
what can I offer
from “my” heArt
to “yours”?
the breath?
mere air?
yes, deep breathing
inhaling,
smelling
like the way of a baby,
taking It all
in and down
to the belly
to the Fire 🔥
hold It there
gently witness
trans-formation.
At the appointed time,
exhale
re-lease
birth
slowly
intentionally
Freshness
something new
something
needed
urgently
now!
This is what
I am
to do.
feeding the un-certainty
where does un-certainty
reside in me?
no clarity
here
now.
what color is it,
this tension of un-certainty ?
not sure.
perhaps, butterscotch,
a merging of orange with yellow,
maybe a clue?
the Sacral, to feel,
or solar plexus’ mandate to do?
to only feel
and not to do?
surrender
submerged
feel the body
trans-form
dis-solve
flow
like the sacral waters
re-lease this Soul.
bible
a rather bold invitation made:
write your own bible.
at first, a bit of consternation,
followed by curiosity
and irreverent possibilities!
bible as just a word –
lower case b
supplanting the upper case and its connotations:
dogma
constriction
judgement
patriarchy.
no, in my bible
tales of only love
connection,
spaciousness,
and a direct –
always open –
line to Benevolence.
Beauty in The Bleakness
marveling at the resplendent Peacock 🦚
its extra-ordinary ability to in-gest
poison
and trans-form it into breathtaking, awe-inspiring Beauty.
reminds me of the Lotus 🪷
thriving in bleak
muddy waters 💧
ah, the lessons nature teaches
when we choose to slow down
listen intently,
look up & down & all around carefully,
really lean into
the Totality of Life,
this Moment,
each other.
opportunities abound everywhere
to trans-form the perceived mess and chaos
into gentle medicine for all;
into something vastly different than we’ve ever experienced –
more relevant, courageous, mature, and equitable.
there is unimaginable Beauty in this bleakness.
can you feel it?
burgeoninc 